high_seas | What happens in Deesuko Ballia...

[This island is a pirate's paradise, so the captain can be found drinking, gambling, entertaining the locals with his manly stories and generally being an attention whore as per usual.]

[A]

[He's hauled out the Rising Sun again, and apparently working on the mechanisms that make it spin attracted enough locals to start a dance-off. Can you out-breakdance a giant wooden spider robot? Someone has decided that Motochika is a worthy judge for this sort of thing, so the prize is a barrel of wine. Good luck!]

[B]

[Motochika is holding court in one of the nicer (this being a relative term) bars on the island. The booze is flowing freely and he's already gotten into several bar fights, as evidenced by the big bruise on his jaw. Join him for a drink and get this chain reaction of bad ideas rolling!]

[Well...that was a thing.]

[A]

[The morning after the incident, Motochika will not even bother to budge from the spot where he fell asleep the previous night. If it's pressing that you talk to him RIGHT NOW about that marriage license you woke up holding, you're going to have to shake him awake first and deal with the consequences.]

[B]

[Once everything is somewhat sorted out, Motochika will return to the ship and shut himself up in his cabin. After all, this is a delicate situation that requires privacy. If you wish to discuss this new arrangement with your husband, he'll be nursing his hangover and talking things over with your new step-parrot and waiting to hear from you.]

[Mitsunari has next to no recollection of what happened the night before. That is concerning in and of itself. What is doubly concerning is the evidence that quite a lot of things happened. Things he really, really should have a memory of. Take this little license, for instance.

At some point, he and Motochika apparently got married.

Well! That's news to him!

He doesn't know what to make of it. He doesn't know if the license is even real or valid, for one thing. Someone could be playing a mean-spirited joke on him. Hell, this might be Motochika's own idea of a joke.

And isn't Motochika already "married" anyway? To... Ragna? Because they wanted some treasure on some island? The details are fuzzy because he didn't particularly care and also because Kodachi kind of burned half of that island down, which overshadowed everything else.

In any case, Mitsunari has questions and wants answers, and is not nearly a nice enough person to settle for shaking Motochika awake. He kicks him instead, hard.]

Wake up.

[Sounds like he means business.]

What?! What?!

[Motochika startles awake and before he can really register what's going on, the pain in his head and in his side kind of override thought.]

Aggggh..what...wha...? Mitsu...nari?

[He rolls over on his unkicked side, then keeps rolling and ends up more or less on his face. The light is too bright his head hurts and it feels like Mitsunari just hit him with a hammer. Or two hammers. Or a bunch of hammers. Maybe he hit him in the head with a hammer, too. That would explain a lot.

Or he could just be suffering from the worst hangover he's head in years.]

[You see this, Motochika? This is the face of a man whose own hangover has sapped him of any conceivable ounce of sympathy he might have otherwise possessed. ...Although, it's unlikely he would have had any sympathy under the best of circumstances.]

Remind me, Motochika. When did we get married?

[He sees no reason to give Motochika enough time to, oh, wake up or collect his bearings before demanding answers from him.]

[Kodachi was taking a break from cooking for once and had ordered food from the kitchen. The food was quite good - better than she'd expected, at least - and she was watching all the brawling with amusement.]

[She was sitting at the bar beside the captain, and someone was just about to smack his head with a pint when she lashed out with a club hidden in the folds of her kimono, knocking the other pirate out cold. The whole bar fell silent, and someone let out a whistle.]

[She blinked at everyone.]

Hm?

[And suddenly everyone erupted in cheers, offering to buy her a drink.]

[She looked at Motochika as several mugs of all sorts of booze appeared before her.]

That was funny.

A
[Kodachi was visiting different pet shops, looking for a parrot partner for Pi-chan. Valentine's Day was coming up, and she thought that perhaps Pi-chan would like a date as well.]

B
[Having had a rough few months, Kodachi actually needed some time alone to think. There weren't a lot of places on Deesuko Ballia where someone could have peace and quiet, but Kodachi managed to find a small tavern where the food was bad and the drinks were watered down, so no one ever went there.]

[So she sat with a cold pot pie in one corner, looking out the window pensively and thinking of home, her brother, and Ranma.]

C
[Dance party! Kodachi was, of course, totally dominating the dance floor, and was having the time of her life. She'd already won a lot of prizes and wasn't tired yet. Come and be her partner!]

Did you see the look on his face? Utterly dumbstruck!

[Motochika was finding the whole thing to be utterly hilarious. He snagged a few mugs that were technically Kodachi's with one hand and patted her on the head with the other.]

Good work, Kodachi, good work. Now just don't start too big of a fight before we have a chance to get some drinking done. It's a terrible shame to waste free booze.

[Wise advice, if he said so himself.]

That's what he gets for being so daft.

[She giggled as he patted her head, even letting it past her that he got some of her beer. She didn't really drink, after all. She was too young for that sort of thing . . . ]

[Though it was indeed a very strange world in which she was too young to drink but old enough to get married.]

Is it really that good?

[Kodachi picked up one of the mugs of beer. It was cold, and the foam on top was quite nice, she had to admit.]

[No, not the shoebill face!!]

Wha...? We what...?

[Motochika grabs whatever is nearest to his hand (his jacket, it turns out) and pulls it over his head to keep the light out. It's too bright. Why is it so bright?]

Did someone burn something down again? Is that why my head hurts?

[Even if the words are becoming more coherent, they're still lacking in lucidity. However, considering what happened the last time he got married, that's a valid question.]

[Thinking that Motochika is trying to hide from this conversation, Mitsunari reaches for the jacket to tug it away from him.]

How would I know? I can recall nothing whatsoever of what took place last night!

[Except... okay. Okay. Maybe alcohol was involved? Or something? That's so strange. He can't speak for Motochika, but even Mitsunari, least self-aware human being on the planet, knows himself well enough to say that it's not exactly like him to get blackout drunk.

This has to be Motochika's fault.]

What, beer? It depends on who's brewing it, I suppose! This is no better or worse than most, I think. After a while, you don't really notice the taste as much. Of course, if you're looking to get properly drunk, this isn't going to do you much good.

[It was why he'd never quite understood why everyone was so preoccupied with it in this place. Sure, you could store a lot of it and serve it in great amounts, but it wasn't exactly the best tasting thing you could toss in a mug and shove across a bar, nor was it really that potent.]

I'm sure the barkeep could make you up something a bit more interesting, though the louts wouldn't know how to go about ordering it for you.

[And neither does Motochika, honestly, he's just seen it happen.]

Nooooo...

[It's a miserable little groan as Motochika tries to snatch his jacket back.]

Last night...last night...

[He hides his face under his arm. That's going to have to do.]

We were drinking, probably. Drinking a lot. My head hurts...why doesn't your head hurt?

[It's a mild accusation. It really isn't fair that Motochika is the only one suffering like this.]

[Mitsunari drops the jacket somewhere Motochika can't reach it. But don't worry, Motochika, there is some fairness in the world. Mitsunari's also feeling the pain of a wicked headache.]

Unlike you, I am not bemoaning my throbbing head!

[But he sure is in a rotten mood because of it. And he will likely end up complaining about it anyway, because it's Mitsunari's nature to fuss about people who "whine" too much despite the amount of time he spends doing pretty much the exact same thing.

So Motochika's hungover, which means that what Mitsunari is feeling right now is probably alcohol related, too. Just like he thought.]

Get off of the floor and explain your part in this before my patience wears any thinner.

[Motochika gives that some thought and decides that he can probably explain just as well down here, especially since that means a minimum of movement. He does attempt to struggle to a seated position, though, if only because it means he might be able to see where his poor jacket went. He groans miserably and rubs at his temples. This is cruel and unusual punishment.]

We were drinking...

[Obviously.]

Got you to agree to it...somehow...

[Major victory, that, if only he could remember how it happened.]

Made fun of Ragna...something something...

[Details.]

Kodachi said we should go...somewhere...signed some things...there was champagne? A lot of champagne. Don't care for it. Drank a lot of it anyway.

[It's amazing he still has a functioning liver.]

[Some of this sounds vaguely familiar to him. The part where he was convinced to take part in this absurdity in the first place might be somehow related to that promise he made to Motochika a while ago, where he said he would try and do things. Enjoyable things. For fun's sake? Because... dead people and betrayal? Or something. Well, everything comes down to dead people and betrayal with Mitsunari.

His head is hurting too bad to even properly recall things he didn't experience whilst under the influence of copious amounts of alcohol.

So then... what? One thing just lead to another and the next thing you know his judgment is impaired to the point he's gone and gotten himself married? Was that before or after the champagne? He wracks his brain for some kind of coherent memory.

Wait...]

What did we sign, Motochika.

[There is no question mark there because this is too dire a situation for question marks.]

[Xun Yu hates Deesuko Ballia.

Which isn't all that surprising given her background, but does make the fact that she's on the island something of an issue. She's done her best to minimise sticking out: she swapped her expensive armour for plainer, practical clothes before she left the Katabami and she's loosened her posture to appear less military. There's nothing she can do to change the fact that as a 5'5'' woman she's not physically intimidating and presents a more attractive target for the kind of lowlifes slumming around. Not that she's worried about losing any fights -- she just doesn't want to have them in the first place.

Motochika is a solution.

Perhaps she should feel a little ashamed of using her captain as a means to an end, but right now when she spots him at the bar she doesn't hesitate to slip into the space next to him. She rests her forearms on the bar, slouching forward, and motions to the bartender for a drink. The key to deception is commitment: a few drinks of dubious quality is a small price to pay for peace. Really, the only flaw in her act is the flicker of disgust that she cannot quite keep from her expression as her sleeves stick slightly to the tacky bar top.]

I don't think that I want to know what's coating any surface here.

[She says to him quietly, as she looks at him and finally sees his new bruise. She raises her eyebrows.]

You look like you've been enjoying yourself, Captain.

[If the impression that they are together is clear then she'll have less trouble coming her way, since Motochika is physically intimidating and seems to have already laid the foundations of reputation down. Any trouble that does come he can soak up. He enjoys brawling, so she won't have to feel guilty about it either. What could possibly go wrong?]

[Motochika is momentarily dumbstruck by Xun Yu's sudden appearance. It takes a second to register that it even is Xun Yu because there are just places where you don't expect to see people. Admittedly, this entire island isn't exactly a place where you would expect to see Xun Yu and she has to go somewhere...]

It's been an exciting sort of evening!

[He rubs at the the bruise, smirking a little. Bar fights are a pastime he's come to enjoy a bit too much since arriving in this world.]

You don't seem to be enjoying yourself nearly as much. I'm sure the barkeep keeps the counter clean enough, you know. Cleaner than the floor, at least.

[Motochika stares blearily up at Mitsunari, his eye bloodshot and not quite focusing right. Mitsunari is making That Face, which means he has one chance at answering that question before all hell breaks loose, which means he has to make his brain function enough to churn out an acceptable response.]

Er...a marriage license?

[He was paying attention to the entire conversation! See?]

Licenses. I signed a few.

[He tugs his eyepatch off, wondering if maybe it's squeezing his head too much and making the ache worse.]

Now why did I do that...?

[Just as he thought.]

A few...?

[Actually, this is even more ridiculous than Mitsunari expected.]

Why? Because of your complete lack of self-control! ...And... my own.

[He runs his hand over his face and groans. He can't blame anyone but himself for his part in this. Lord Hideyoshi, please forgive your foolish, irresponsible vassal for his drunken shenanigans.]

How many did you sign?

[Mitsunari only found one on his person, and he really hopes that's the only one out there, because he doesn't envy Motochika right at this moment.]

[Kodachi decided to try her first ever sip of beer. It looked quite nice and golden, and well, she was older now, wasn't she? Surely a few sips wouldn't hurt.]

[She tried a dainty sip - almost just a splash - savoring the taste in her mouth. It wasn't one of the best beers in the world, but it was alright. That earthy taste was actually quite nice.]

Why would you want to get properly drunk?

[That was honestly something she was curious about.]

[She also looked to the barkeep, who was watching her with interest.]

Make me something nice.

[He quickly got to it, and a moment later, she had a drink with chocolate in it.]

[Motochika eyed Kodachi's drink with interest. It was probably something the men around here looked down on as a "girly drink," but Motochika was willing to drink just about anything with alcohol in it, regardless of its intended audience.]

Why would you want to get drunk? [He scratched at his chin, pondering that one.] It's a good bit of fun while it's happening, I suppose. Not so much fun afterwards, but you learn to manage that. I've had some of my best ideas while I was drunk.

[Mind you, these were good ideas by Motochika's standards...]

[Motochika stares fixedly at the floor and resumes rubbing at his head. This is too much thinking to do right now. How many did he sign?]

I...don't quite recall...? One for you clearly...perhaps...yes, a second for Ragna, I think...I think...er...Kodachi?

[Really, the Ragna thing is just a safe bet. He'll do a lot of things to mess with Ragna. Kodachi is a fairly safe bet as well, considering what happened the last time he got married. It would stand to reason that if he did it again, she would have to be involved so she didn't feel left out. There might well have been more, but he really doesn't remember and Mitsunari probably won't accept that as an answer.]

[At least they're all from the Katabami. Makes getting an annulment simpler.]

Were you not already married to Ragna? You would marry him, of all people, more than once?

[Why, that's the most baffling thing yet. ~~Sorry, Ragna.~~]

I don't understand why I agreed to this! I possess not the slightest desire to be married to you!

[He tries to think what line of reasoning would have led him to this and nothing comes to mind.]

Were we tricked into signing these licenses...?

[The men around the bar may have thought of it as a "girly drink", but they were too wary of her clubs to say anything.]

You think it's fun?

[Oh, no. She was getting some bad ideas right here.]

[She took a sip of the chocolate drink and found that she liked it much more than the beer. She'd had rum chocolates before, of course, and this was something like that - just in a beverage!]

Oh, this is nice!

What happens in Deesuko Ballia...

Motochika - Before the Disaster

Motochika - After the Disaster

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B

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B

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