A wry grin, and Marco stirred his drink in one hand before sipping it. "Maybe." And yet... "Or more likely he'll do what he always does, and let it eat him up with unnecessary guilt under the guise of 'responsibility.'" Marco rubbed the bridge between his eyes. There was a lot he couldn't tell anyone, and a lot more he simply wouldn't. So even outlining it vaguely was difficult. "He already knew Pops was dying, both he and Thatch know." Marco's tone was more solemn. He pretty much never told anyone outside the crew that; no, actually, this was the first time. He suspected Rayleigh knew, but that was because Roger had been dying when they took on the Grand Line.
"That's why... I didn't go hunting..." a slight hesitation and Marco took a heavier drink. It was the main reason anyway. Because if Whitebeard died while Marco wasn't there, he'd never have forgiven himself, but there had been orders he wouldn't tell too.
Marco shook his head, "But Blackbeard showing up after Ace died?" A scowl flickered over his face. "No way can I see any good coming from that. Fuck..." Marco rubbed his face some more. "Ace blamed himself just for being Teach's commander. I don't even want to think how much he'll blame himself if he finds out Blackbeard was there to take Pops' devil fruit. And Thatch. Seeing as the bastard thinks it's somehow his fault for dying." A facepalm. "It makes it very hard to be mad at them myself for it, eh." Dry deadpan kidding. sometimes he was a little annoyed with them, but it was really just a grieving thing. And truthfully, Marco would so much rather have them around to even blame themselves in the first place so that Marco could kick them for thinking that, than to silently think it himself as some sort of grieving thing with them gone.
"But even beyond that," he waved his hand back and forth, "Pops and I didn't share much. We just did things and acted accordingly." That, and both of them were so obsessed with protecting the other that they couldn't really share if something was a problem, but Marco wasn't really consciously aware of that. "I told Ace I don't know what he expects me to share, but he'll just have to trust me if I don't tell him something too... which I think he was okay with." Marco rubbed the back of his neck uneasily. "I don't know. I think it's... some sort of moral thing lately. He backed me up on getting vengeance, even though he expected half of the crew to leave him over it, yet the only one who did have a strong enough opinion about it; Lea, Ace acts like he's the only one doing things the right way. I don't get it."
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"That's why... I didn't go hunting..." a slight hesitation and Marco took a heavier drink. It was the main reason anyway. Because if Whitebeard died while Marco wasn't there, he'd never have forgiven himself, but there had been orders he wouldn't tell too.
Marco shook his head, "But Blackbeard showing up after Ace died?" A scowl flickered over his face. "No way can I see any good coming from that. Fuck..." Marco rubbed his face some more. "Ace blamed himself just for being Teach's commander. I don't even want to think how much he'll blame himself if he finds out Blackbeard was there to take Pops' devil fruit. And Thatch. Seeing as the bastard thinks it's somehow his fault for dying." A facepalm. "It makes it very hard to be mad at them myself for it, eh." Dry deadpan kidding. sometimes he was a little annoyed with them, but it was really just a grieving thing. And truthfully, Marco would so much rather have them around to even blame themselves in the first place so that Marco could kick them for thinking that, than to silently think it himself as some sort of grieving thing with them gone.
"But even beyond that," he waved his hand back and forth, "Pops and I didn't share much. We just did things and acted accordingly." That, and both of them were so obsessed with protecting the other that they couldn't really share if something was a problem, but Marco wasn't really consciously aware of that. "I told Ace I don't know what he expects me to share, but he'll just have to trust me if I don't tell him something too... which I think he was okay with." Marco rubbed the back of his neck uneasily. "I don't know. I think it's... some sort of moral thing lately. He backed me up on getting vengeance, even though he expected half of the crew to leave him over it, yet the only one who did have a strong enough opinion about it; Lea, Ace acts like he's the only one doing things the right way. I don't get it."