"Fist fights don't bother me. With Ace, I think he only respects someone who's willing to punch him in the jaw." Marco shook his head and the frown deepened a little, "Even when he asked me to be his first mate he said he wanted someone who would kick his ass."
He leaned his chin into a hand. "But I can't protect the crew's best interests if I'm too worried about protecting his, and vice versa. There's a balance there..." Was he trying too hard to map it, or was he just lost? Was it a dead end, or was he running from a dead end long before even got there?
"Have you ever played those pencil mazes? You draw a line through the maze and try to get from start to finish without getting lost? I feel like I'm always flying over one of those that spans in all directions, all the way past the horizon and keeps going. And sometimes I can see the dead ends so I don't go that way, and other times... I just worry about dead ends so I don't know whether it's safe to go... and that's what takes me so long to do some things. To get anywhere." His cheeks flushed again and he looked directly down before mumbling, "S'what took me so long... takes me so long... with you." Aye, he was pretty sure even his ears had to be pink at that suggestion, but it had to be said for the next part.
He cleared his throat and added, "Anyway, Ace just runs. And if he hits a wall, he doesn't turn around or even look to see if there's another path, he just does everything he can to bash it down." He chuckled softly, "And you know what? Sometimes that works for him." Marco shook his head, "But I could never work like that. Even when I've tried, it's ended up very painfully."
He's starting to confuse himself again. He had a point to it all, but somehow in the midst of the metaphor he got himself turned around. What was the point to it again? Ah, right.
"I don't know how to determine what is important enough to fight his decisions on," the frown was back. "Everything makes me miserable, nothing will doom us to failure. I can't let him pick which things are important to the crew's well-being, that's my job, but--" he pinched the bridge between his eyes with one hand, leaving the fork in the other so that Robin could hide it on him for all he cared, actually he'd find it cute, because Marco was weird, "If it is important, he only ever sees things on his own. I don't even know how to give him opportunities to see it... at least not yet." He dropped his hand and gave her a wry grin, "Or most likely I am overthinking it and seeing dead ends to avoid where there are none, eh?"
3/3
"Fist fights don't bother me. With Ace, I think he only respects someone who's willing to punch him in the jaw." Marco shook his head and the frown deepened a little, "Even when he asked me to be his first mate he said he wanted someone who would kick his ass."
He leaned his chin into a hand. "But I can't protect the crew's best interests if I'm too worried about protecting his, and vice versa. There's a balance there..." Was he trying too hard to map it, or was he just lost? Was it a dead end, or was he running from a dead end long before even got there?
"Have you ever played those pencil mazes? You draw a line through the maze and try to get from start to finish without getting lost? I feel like I'm always flying over one of those that spans in all directions, all the way past the horizon and keeps going. And sometimes I can see the dead ends so I don't go that way, and other times... I just worry about dead ends so I don't know whether it's safe to go... and that's what takes me so long to do some things. To get anywhere." His cheeks flushed again and he looked directly down before mumbling, "S'what took me so long... takes me so long... with you." Aye, he was pretty sure even his ears had to be pink at that suggestion, but it had to be said for the next part.
He cleared his throat and added, "Anyway, Ace just runs. And if he hits a wall, he doesn't turn around or even look to see if there's another path, he just does everything he can to bash it down." He chuckled softly, "And you know what? Sometimes that works for him." Marco shook his head, "But I could never work like that. Even when I've tried, it's ended up very painfully."
He's starting to confuse himself again. He had a point to it all, but somehow in the midst of the metaphor he got himself turned around. What was the point to it again? Ah, right.
"I don't know how to determine what is important enough to fight his decisions on," the frown was back. "Everything makes me miserable, nothing will doom us to failure. I can't let him pick which things are important to the crew's well-being, that's my job, but--" he pinched the bridge between his eyes with one hand, leaving the fork in the other so that Robin could hide it on him for all he cared, actually he'd find it cute, because Marco was weird, "If it is important, he only ever sees things on his own. I don't even know how to give him opportunities to see it... at least not yet." He dropped his hand and gave her a wry grin, "Or most likely I am overthinking it and seeing dead ends to avoid where there are none, eh?"