[Lets out a humorless laugh.]

I don't know if dream is the right word. On anyone else, or in another circumstance, sure, maybe. But for me, at the time, it was more this...dark, twisted need. And it just...

[Cringes a bit, dragging a hand over his face.]

It caused so many problems. I caused so many problems. God, I was such an asshole to him.