high_seas | A phoenix on the Moon

Entry tags:

marco

A phoenix on the Moon

Who: Marco & YOU
When: The night of the 18th
Where: Ship: the Moon (top deck)
What: Marco wants to find all the cute chicks. Yes, I mean the hatched baby muppet birds. SO FLUFFY!!!
Warnings: UH I assume G, but it's Marco, so really all bets are off. Plus he might bug Thatch so really really all bets off.

There's a bright blue phoenix hanging around the deck of the Moon and making a fort out of barrels, blankets, sail cloth, and assorted other fun things. He may or may not also have decided to try to look for books. Sometimes when you're stuck in bird form, even if it's of your own free will, you just have to read.

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It wasn't so much that he thought Marco was planning anything beyond infiltration, he just thought he was doing it wrong. Sometimes it would be nice to understand what Xifer was chirping at him all at once, but he'd probably have to wait until he got a letter.

"What else..." He hummed a little. "Well I don't know how fun being a Heartless is. I do okay, here at least. There's a lot of fun things to do, not like in the Organization."

"And our numbers were kind of like our rank. I was the last Nobody to come so I was thirteen. 'The Key of Destiny'. Xemnas says some weird things." Roxas thought about what he said about people not being able to go home.

"You know, going home, I..." Roxas said softly. "I don't know." He reached out and ran his fingers through the feathers. "I'm scared, that's all. I'm scared and I'm angry." His fingers clenched tightly around some feathers before he thought about it. "I'm so mad."

And that was the one best thing about not being able to talk. He wrapped a giant fluffy blue hug around Roxas in a gesture to make it all better. It made sense, really. All of it. It wasn't fair that Roxas had to disappear for Sora to be whole, that this ocean was all he had. Even if he wasn't alone in that, it didn't make it any easier. Ace, Thatch, how many others?

Marco puffed up his bright blue and yellow glow and rested his head on Roxas' head. It took a brave person to admit when they were scared and angry, especially if they didn't know why. Marco was angry and scared a lot. Right now even. It was his job to protect the crew, and even in this ocean, so much easier and so far removed from the war and world that killed Ace and Thatch, he wasn't perfect. He failed, he tripped, and when he did, it wasn't his own life he lost, it was someone else's. Jozu's arm, Ace's life, Kairi's life.

He quietly nuzzled the back of Roxas' ears with his beak and made a quiet mental note to leave him a letter with the chick before he left, no matter what.

"I'm scared too sometimes. I'm scared of losing my brothers, and you're scared of losing yourself. What isn't there to be afraid or angry about? It's okay though. You have nakama now, and we'll help and stay by your side. So you're not alone."

"Just because I shouldn't exist doesn't change the fact I do." Roxas whispered. His fingers loosened on the feathers but he leaned into the hug, cuddling to Marco's torso. He did love being hugged now that he knew about it.

"Don't you think that should matter? I know Sora would change it if he could, but I don't think he can. Somehow it has to be him." He was quiet for a moment. "I wish I could say I would just disappear and that's it, but Lea, Lea will miss me. He'll be hurt. That's not fair." None of it was, in his opinion.

He sighed. "I'm jealous of Sora. I can't even hide that. It doesn't even make sense because I'm him and he's me. Only we're not the same at all. It makes my head hurt. You think you're confused." Roxas teased him a little.

"Naminé said she scattered Sora's memories for some reason..." He frowned. Some words he didn't remember. "And she was putting them back together. Sometimes I dream of Sora. They're supposed to be my memories but it makes no sense to me. She said the process was affecting me because I'm the last piece. Where I am in time, Sora's been asleep for about a year."

The entire time Roxas has been alive, almost.

Marco nodded quietly, and affectionately preened Roxas with his beak as soothingly as he could.

Existence was hard. That was why the island had driven him nuts. The lie of how it wasn't hard. The illusion that it even could be anything less than a war. If it wasn't a war, what was he fighting for? What had all his family members died for? And what were the ones who were going to die, going to die for? It was too tough to face all those questions all at once, and while wasn't as overwhelming now, it still lingered.

There weren't any words Marco could say, anything to make it better, but he quietly nudged Roxas again with the top of his head. Roxas here now, and whether he thought he wasn't supposed to exist or not, he did.

He was quiet for a few moments. It was the second time he's had a break down in a week and it was wearing on him a little. Without thinking about it, he shifted so he was comfortable and made Marco his pillow.

"Sometimes I don't know what I exist for, but I still exist." He murmured. "There's so many people I'm mad at, so many people I hate. I guess that's why I'm the bad one. I guess the bad guys don't win."

Roxas mulled it over a little bit. "I don't remember a lot about the beginning. Just that Xemnas found me. He said he'd give me answers and a purpose and he gave me a name. He gave me to Axel, too. Probably because I was pretty useless back then. I'm glad to have Axel, I really am. Axel was the only good thing about that place. None of the other Nobodies really liked me much."

He supposed it wasn't hard to issue the orders then. Roxas could guess exactly how hard it was for Axel after he failed.

"Oh, yeah. You asked about my sleep. I guess it was kind of like a coma. I don't really know how it worked. I don't know why it happened, just one moment I was walking behind Xigbar and the next I was waking up in my bed, with a seashell collection. I don't know who left it for me...in fact, I can't even think of who might have. Axel wasn't around then, he'd gone to Castle Oblivion and never came back. At least, Xigbar told me he wasn't coming back. When I woke up there wasn't anyone around, so I went to the clock tower, to think. Whatever I was dreaming of is really hazy now. It was after that I started to see things."

Marco was plenty comfortable being a pillow, and indeed, the whole thing, rage included, reminded him of Ace's younger days (current days too) so he listened quietly and flicked his tail slightly in thought.

"See things?" Marco whistled quietly, curious. He tilted his head to emphasize the question, hoping that Roxas could pick it up in context.

He sighed a little bit. "You probably want to know more about that."

Roxas sounded a little unsure. "I thought I was crazy so I didn't really tell anyone then."

Briefly, he wondered if he ever told Axel or Lea. He couldn't remember if he did or not.

"Sometimes when I would go to a world, I'd get a weird feeling, you know? And I would see a boy in red. I never felt like I was a part of the memories though. It was like I was watching them. I know now it was Sora, because of Naminé's drawings and meeting him. Naminé is a girl I met who told me some things after they took my memories from me. I don't know if I...at the time I liked her, even if she said the most cruel things. Maybe because I wanted to know more about myself. Kairi looks just like her, sort of."

Memories then. Memories and perhaps Namine was Kairi's Nobody. The version of her without a heart. But what was the heart then? Like a treasure? A form of memories and emotions? Central nervous system? Part of the brain?

Marco whistled quietly and nudged the back of Roxas' head with his own in another comforting gesture. It was all right, because it clearly was connected to the rest, and it didn't seem like Roxas was still hallucinating things.

He had more questions, but they'd have to wait.

It was a good conclusion, because Marco was right. Naminé was Kairi's Nobody, although Roxas didn't know it. He knew Naminé was a Nobody and that she was a witch. He didn't know what happened to her, but she was gone before he was.

He didn't hallucinate, but he still had dreams, dreams of Sora and things he did before he was a hero and during. There wasn't much to remember about them really, they were fleeting in his memory sometimes. It wasn't as important anymore, there was no mystery. He knew what he was seeing.

Roxas sighed a little and looked at Marco with a gentle smile. "It's okay, you don't have to worry. Like I told Lea...I'm going to fight it. Fight it until the end. If I can't win then...well I don't know. I guess that's just it. I don't know what's going to happen. I wish I knew."

"I had to hit Lea you know." He said randomly after another few moments of silence. "Axel died. Jerk. He's not allowed to die on me again, I told him!"

Marco flicked his tail irritably in thought at Roxas fighting to the end. It always depended on what one was fighting for, didn't it? And the idea that bad guys never won, that was why Roxas was the bad one still weighed on his mind. Was that why Ace was gone? Thatch? Were they bad? They were surely better than Blackbeard. But then, Blackbeard hadn't won yet either.

The last part got a quiet grin out of him though. "I did the same thing with Thatch actually. Well, I beat the shit out of him with kicks, but you know what I mean. Same sentiment. No dying." He nudged Roxas again more cheerfully, and made a mental note to add it to the letter.

Roxas hadn't ever gotten into why he was the bad one, not really. He was surprisingly good at leaving out some details. He was the bad one, just like Lea was the bad one. Sora, Riku and Kairi were the good guys. Even DiZ was really one of the good guys, it was Roxas who stood in their way.

"I don't know what you're saying, but before I didn't think you could talk. I was going to ask you to teach me new words, right?"

They needed a better topic to talk about.

"How do you say Xifer?"

Marco happily swished his tail at the question and answer the question with a cheerful whistle. It had all the connotations in phoenix as the whistle for phoenix itself, fire, and sparkle.

He repeated his name a few more times so Roxas could get it, and then he told Roxas his own name in avian with a quiet nudge to Roxas to emphasize that he was talking about him now instead. Thatch was the first word he ever taught said brother in phoenix, so it only seemed appropriate to start with names here too.

Marco seemed to like the question. The cheerful reason sounded easy to imitate. His own name seemed a little different. He had to blink and process it before trying.

"Hello. Hello Xifer!"

That was easy. He tried his name after that, but it didn't sound quite right. Ikki was right, it could be hard to learn to speak like Xifer.

Marco cocked his head to the side in amusement, laughed slightly, and quietly replied, "Hello hello Roxas. I'm Xifer!" He bowed his head thoughtfully in inclination in introduction.

Difficult indeed. You had to literally be able to charm the birds.

Roxas gave it one more try, using the whistles he heard Marco use.

"I'm Roxas."

If he got that right, he wasn't sure, but it was okay. It was still a lot of fun and if he did learn, he'd get to speak a whole other language.

"Yes, yes!" Marco nodded happily, giving a quiet small flap of his wings to signify his pride. "Aye!"

"I'm Xifer." He nudged Roxas again and repeated the boys name. "Roxas."

He grinned because it sounded exactly like he said it and he flushed a little with pride.

"I have an idea Xifer. Then we can play a game!"

Because being able to communicate a little might help him play better with his friend. "Okay. How do you say 'yes'?"

Marco quickly chirped back the answer a few times. "Aye, aye, aye, yes." It was pretty much all the same, since S wasn't a sound birds made easily if at all. Even parrots with the shorter beaks had troubles with it.

"Aye!" That one seemed pretty easy. Roxas scratched his head.

"Okay so you have to think of something on the ships and I'll try and guess what it is!"

Marco swished his tail happily as Roxas picked up on the word and he focused on coming up with something.

"Sails, yoi."

"Ready?" Roxas asked before pausing to think.

"Is it a person?"

Marco shakes his head 'no.' He had been debating using Thatch, but if he'd picked Thatch, then it probably would have been an instant guess. They really did talk about each other too much.

"Okay..." He gave it a little more thought. "Is it below deck?"

Another headshake and a low whistle of, "No."

It wasn't a person and it wasn't below deck. "Is it the galley?"

A phoenix on the Moon

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