high_seas | To sweetwaters we go

[The ponds are really strange in this place, no matter how many she checks, she can't see any fish in them, despite how clear the water is. She's not sure if that's normal or not, but it's not something Elizabeth has ever seen.

She's taking a walk, checking the ponds once more when she spots Dust looking rather sick. Obviously her first reaction is to hurry besides him to grab his arm and offer extra support seeing how he's clinging to his sword.]

Dust! What happened? Are you feeling sick?

[She's lucky he can't muster a physical response. It might have gone poorly for her. Frankly, though, he can use the extra help; his weight lies heavy against her grip, a testament to just how hard it had been for him not to just pitch straight forward. ]

For some reason... when I drank from this pool, all my memories -- both sets of memories, came flooding back...

Eh? Just because you drank that water?

[Her eyes fall on the clear surface of the pool, a frown on her face.]

But it doesn't look any different from the others.

That's what I thought! But it can't have been a coincidence, the timing was too close.

[She frowns at the pool for another second before she turns back to Dust.]

Is it over now? Or are the memories still flooding back?

Uhm, maybe it would be better if you sat down...

It's... the rest aren't so bad. Not compared to the memory of my souls killing each other.

[Sitting down might be problematic. He's tensed up and unable to relax, even to move. Who can blame him?]

[She can sense him all tensed and she herself tenses and cringes at the mention of that memory. She has no idea how that could be or would feel, but she would bet everything in the world to the fact that it would be just plain awful. The awfullest thing in all the universes level of awful.]

That's... Horrible.

[She says the word in a low voice, knowing well that it doesn't even begin to describe the situation.]

You're so tense... W-What can I do to help?

[She doesn't know magic, maybe Musa would know some healing magic or something, but Elizabeth has nothing. And suggesting to drink some water is obviously out of the question now.]

[Dust can't help but laugh once, a ragged chuckle.]

Sorry. Probably should have kept that part to myself. I don't think I was ever supposed to remember that part as more than a faint blur at best.

[Really, who is he to be pushing his problems off on a crewmate? She isn't Fidget.]

I'll be fine. I just -- I'll be fine.

Don't be sorry, why should you keep it to yourself? We're in the same crew, we're a team. It's true there are things that don't have to be shared or that shouldn't be shared, but if something is hurting you, it's important to know.

I'm just sorry that I can't really even imagine how it must be. [And thus, as always, there's little next to nothing that she can do to help or alleviate it.]

Then... The water made you remember clearly even things you didn't?

[For a single moment, a brief second, Elizabeth wonders what would happen if she drank it. Or if Ciel did it. Would the pieces fall in piece? Those roughed ends that never seem to match somehow, would they match finally? Or would the reason why they never match, why the puzzle is incomplete, become clear and obvious?

Her attention snaps back to Dust as he reassures her that he'll be fine.]

I know that. I know that you'll be fine. Memories are just memories, no matter how horrible and painful they can be, they aren't something that can bring someone down for long. But I don't care about later, I worry about now, and now you're not fine.

[Crew, yes, but...Dust has come to view his place here as their protector. Musa had so far kept them clear of most violence, but if anything ever came for them, it would have to get him first.]

The longer I was alive, the more clearly I remembered things from both Cassius and Jin... but not everything perfectly, not clearly. That's what the water did. Like everything I or they had ever been through came pouring back into my skull. It wasn't just what I remembered, it was how much, like my head was about to burst from being too full.

It's fading now. I don't think anyone can remember that much naturally. We're just not meant to do it.

[It's the best reassurance he can give her. He isn't fine, but he will be. Somehow.]

That's true, I don't think there's anyone who remembers things from when they were very little after all. It fades eventually.

[Though she reminds herself that there's a difference between gradually forgetting and suddenly forgetting it all, which is her problem with Ciel.]

Is there a way to turn this experience into something positive? Like... Did you remember something good or something?

[She hopes at leas that there was some happy memory as well, even if it couldn't trump the one about his two previous souls killing each other.]

I remembered good things that didn't happen to me... and bittersweet things that did. Not sure if that counts. [But he can at least laugh about it a little, even if it is bitter laughter.] I suppose you'll say I need to make better memories.

Well... Yeah, but I would say that even if you had tons of happy memories. Because happy memories are important and you never have too many of them.

[She pouts slightly, wondering if he thinks that it's wrong that she thinks that he deserves better memories and should try to get them. Sometimes Ciel made her feel that way after all.]

Maybe while I'm here, I'll have the chance to get some.

[Skeptical, definitely, but open to the possibility. That's probably as good as anyone can hope for out of Dust.]

[For once, Elizabeth doesn't immediately join with cheerful optimism. What she has heard, what she has been told, everything points to the fact that they will forget any memories made here. So even if Dust gets to make some, they will be gone when he returns.

But that doesn't mean he shouldn't try, or that she shouldn't try either, so after a few seconds of hesitance she offers a wide smile.]

That's right! We're not in a very good situation in general, but that doesn't mean that everything is going to be bad! We just have to find the good things in this world.

[Who knows? Dust is an exception to normal rules anyway, and not prepared to take anything for granted.]

Not a very good situation?

It's not so bad. No entire species in danger of extinction. No genocidal maniacs. I'd even call it a little boring. Though considering I don't want to see any of you girls in trouble, that's probably for the best.

[Well...]

If you compare it with those things it's certainly not so bad. But it's not always like this. Not only the Navy is out for us after all, there are many things in this world we have to be careful about... Like that month when strange ships with ghosts and skeletons were attacking us, or that witch that possessed people and made them attack each other...

Even with all of that? It's not so bad. Whatever else might happen, we have a ship to call home, people to talk to, no monsters wandering in from pits that hide tunnels leading to a corrupted water goddess who's cut off the flow of healing waters from towns that need it to keep people alive.

I'm definitely not afraid of ghosts.

[And now Elizabeth can't help but laugh a bit, mostly at herself though.]

I don't know if I should say that I'm sorry for all you have had to go through, or be glad that you have that much experience. You're right, it's certainly not so bad! And we're not alone either.

I guess I've let myself to fall down more than I should. I apologize, I'll try to be more positive from now on!

What's to be sorry for? I could've just walked away, if I wanted to. [But then, the entire purpose of welding Jin's conscience to Cassius's strength was to make him the sort of person who couldn't have.] I'd rather you kept smiling.

Even so, I just don't like when bad things happen. I know they are part of life and that they have to happen so we can value the good things, but I still don't like them. At least I wish that the good things could always outweigh the bad ones, that's why I always try my best to cheer up my fiancée.

[And why she tries so hard to keep smiling, but this place is certainly being a challenge for that.]

Fiance?

[That completely distracts him from the serious matters, because what?]

This may not be any of my business, but aren't you a bit young for that?

For what? Having a fiancé? Oh no, I would be way too old if I didn't have one already! It would be the talk of all the high society, the daughter of a Marquis, without any engagement at fourteen! If I had other sisters it would be one thing, but being just me and my older brother it surely would cause a stir.

Goodness, I remember that when my fiancé was assumed dead it wasn't even a week before people started to subtly hint at how I should be engaged with someone else as soon as possible. Some people really have no manners no matter what their upbringing is, it wasn't even pass mourning period for me!

[She huffs lightly at the memory, back then she had been way too hurt and sad to feel offended, but looking back made her realize how impertinent some people had been. Especially because at the end Ciel returned safely to her side.]

No, no, my engagement was decided upon at the perfect age, as soon as he was born the agreement was made, though I'm sure there were talks about it ever since I was born. it was only appropriate since my mother and his father are siblings.

[It kept things within the family and ensured that Elizabeth would receive the proper upbringing for a Phantomhive wife through her mother. Of course, that doesn't mean other women couldn't do it, but it always added an extra layer to be considered in the marriage given their work.]

[This all sweeps over Dust like his own Dust Storm, leaving him faintly stunned in its wake. If he dug into his memories, he could pick up faint similarities in things Cassius had heard of in passing, but all of this just sounded -- well, crazy.]

[Not that he had any right to judge...]

Sorry. That's much different than how things were done back in Falana. I hadn't realized marriage was more of an obligation for you.

You seem all right with it, though, so I guess I can't see it as a problem.

Well... It's not really an obligation, but it's what is expected, especially in noble families.

[She laughs a bit at the last comment.]

Of course, I'm all right with it! I love my fiancé! I know it doesn't happen often, some people are arranged to get married and only get to see each other when they are about to do so. But Ciel and me are cousins and we've known each other since always. Besides, our parents both got married to their spouses for love and not just for status or arrangement, so we have had good examples!

Even if I was told the engagement was cancelled, I wouldn't want to marry anyone else but Ciel. If it's not him, I would prefer to be alone for the rest of my life.

To sweetwaters we go

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