high_seas | (no subject)

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(no subject)

Who: Riku and Natsuno
Where: Up in the Crow's Nest
When: Nov. 19
What: Natsuno is alone up there, on watch, Riku's had enough of his crap.
Warnings: Discussion of suicide, death, possibly other unpleasantries
Style: Prose
Status: Closed

It was a relatively peaceful night, all things considered. There wasn't much to keep watch with, but perhaps more that Natsuno couldn't sleep. Ever since his nightmare, he'd found himself having a bit of difficulty with his memories and while he might be able to keep them at bay at times, now when he's alone, it's too difficult.

The night was so calm out on the water, unlike what was going on internally. He found himself sighing a lot. After a little while he pulled out the stake which he had handy and balanced it on his fingers. If only he had the strength, he'd have done something about this already. He wasn't sure why people didn't understand why he needed to be eliminated. All of this camaraderie, the kinds of people who didn't expect anything out of him, he wasn't used to it. It had been too long, and the only person in town like them was Tohru. Tohru who never deserved to die in the first place, but maybe that wasn't all, maybe Shimizu annoying as she was, didn't deserve it either. If only the vampires had left their village alone, he wouldn't be in this predicament.

If he had realized when it was Tohru's turn, if only he had known he could have done something. He would have. It was with these thoughts that Natsuno was lost, staring out into the void.

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Riku was bored. He'd already done all his chores, seriously, the deck was about as swabbed as it was going to get, and standing around staring out at the ocean was getting a little boring...surprisingly. With a sigh, he leaned back against the ship's railing and tipped his head back, catching sight of the crow's nest.

If he remembered correctly, Natsuno was supposed to be on watch now. He could always go bother him.

And if he wasn't, well, Riku could probably talk to whoever else was up there, too.

Two seconds later he was on his way up the rigging, and soon enough his head popped up over the side of the crow's nest.

"Oh good, I was right," he said, apropos of nothing. He hauled himself further up and was getting ready to climb in when he spotted the stake Natsuno was holding and paused, his eyebrows drawing together. "...What are you doing with that?"

Natsuno was almost startled out of his thoughts by Riku's voice, however he didn't let it show. He just blinked a few times to moisten his eyes and turned his head to look at him.

At the query he looked down at the stake still in his hands and he sighed lightly. "Nothing, Riku."

It wasn't a very well crafted one, the point was uneven, it was crafted by a kid after all.

Riku was silent for a moment, almost wary, before he finally climbed the rest of the way into the crow's nest and slowly sat down, watching Natsuno carefully.

"You sure about that? You look all gloomy and stuff. Again."

He sighed heavily and shrugged a little helplessly.

"I'm not strong enough to drive it through my own heart, if that's what you're worried about. It has to go all the way through. It would take more force then I could muster."

Natsuno's eyes were a little dark, faraway. He was gloomy, he always seemed to have a lot on his mind. It was a little unnatural for someone his age, however he was definitely living in his version of the darkness.

"I'm more worried about the fact that you're even still thinking about it."

He leaned forward to snatch the stake out of Natsuno's hand, looking it over.

"Why do you still have this?"

"Because..." He frowned a little bit. "I could need it. In case I encountered a vampire or found a way to..."

He trailed off a bit. "If given the opportunity maybe I would die before it was too late for any of you. I appreciate you treating me so normally but I'm not human. I can't go back."

"Yeah, yeah, you're a vampire. We get it."

Riku rolled his eyes, then looked back up at Natsuno.

"None of us are ever going to use this on you, Yuuki. You have to know that by now."

"I," Natsuno swallowed. "I know you won't."

He stood suddenly.

"Then you don't need it."

Then he was pulling his arm back, and a second later the stake was sailing through the air as Riku threw it as far as he could. It landed with a faint plop somewhere out in the water.

"Riku!"

Natsuno shouted, standing too, frowning at him. "That wasn't yours, what do you think you're doing?!"

He wasn't one for needless confrontations, but that didn't belong to Riku, it was his stake, meant for him.

Riku just crossed his arms, looking calmly back at Natsuno.

"Getting rid of it. Like I said, you don't need it and there's no point having it around."

There wasn't any way really to explain why he didn't want it gone, he just let out a frustrated noise before glaring at him.

"I did need it, in case I found someone who was willing to kill me!"

The calm facade broke a little at that and Riku's arms dropped to his sides, his hands clenching into fists.

"Why?" he demanded. "Why do you want to die so badly?"

"Because I'm already dead! I already died! I'm some monster, and I have no future like this!" Natsuno rose his own voice. He was tired, Selphie scolded him and now Riku.

"That's such a bullshit answer!" Riku shot back, his voice rising as well. "Listen to yourself, you're a broken record, you keep saying you're dead but you're here, aren't you? You're in this place, not six feet underground, and you're only a monster if you ACT like one!"

He took a step closer, reaching out to shove Natsuno's shoulder.

"Like you could even hurt any of us anyway! When's the last time you fed from someone?"

"I am dead, I did die." Natsuno argued back. "It's not bullshit! I should be six feet underground, if I hadn't woken up again, I would have been burned to ashes."

He was shoved pretty easily. It had been about three weeks really. "I could hurt you Riku, I could hurt you even if I haven't fed recently! If I bit you in the right place you would die!"

"But you did wake up. I know you died, you've said it a thousand times, but you woke up. And maybe things would've been different if you were still in your world, but you're not. You've got a second chance here. So what if you're a vampire, sometimes life just sucks but you have to deal with it!"

Riku scowled, shaking his head.

"And sure, whatever, if I stabbed someone with a sword, they'd die, too. But I'm not about to do something like that and you're not about to bite me where it could kill me."

"You don't know that. I could go mad with hunger. I could lose control. I've seen it...just because I haven't done it doesn't mean I won't!" Natsuno cried.

"Why? Why me? Why did I wake up anyway? What was the point of it? I was ready to die. You don't know what you're talking about, Riku!" He pushed his hand through his hair. "What second chance is this? So I can go back? To what exactly?"

"...I don't know all the answers," Riku admitted after a moment. "To any of that. I don't know what would happen if you lost control—you haven't yet, though, and it's been almost three months. And I don't know why you woke up. I don't know why you're here instead of at home, and I have no idea what you'd find whenever you go back. But you have got to cut it out with this being ready to die thing. You're just being selfish!"

Natsuno didn't say anything this time, he slumped back down to the ground, sitting against the wall. He buried his head in his hands.

"Selfish?" He asked with a snort. He'd heard that before. Masao threw that in his his face at Tohru's funeral for not crying.

"Maybe, I am. But there's not a whole lot to live for. There's no future, like I said."

"Why?" He crossed his arms, looking down at Natsuno. "Because some vampires took over your town and you think there's no way out? No way to beat them? ...Or is it because Tohru's dead?"

Edited 2013-11-20 08:08 (UTC)

"Tohru-chan is as dead as I am." Natsuno grumbled softly. "He didn't deserve to die."

He just shook his head. "Think about it. Even providing I live, I will be sixteen forever. There's not a lot of prospects to what I could do with this so called life. Even as I turn seventeen, eighteen, twenty, thirty...I will look like this. Never changing. What could I do with that?"

"Of course he didn't. But you can't change whatever happened." Riku's brow furrowed. "And you could do a lot of things. Whatever you want, actually. Yeah, maybe you'll look young forever, but that's a terrible reason to just give up. And you've got years before looking too young would become a problem anyway. Maybe you'd even be able to find some other vampires like you who aren't...I dunno. Crazy."

He went quiet for a moment, and when he spoke again it was with a softer voice.

"How long has it been, anyway? When did Tohru die?"

"The other Jinrou were content to work for the vampires. Even Tohru-chan lost control...I saw him do it. I know it can happen."

Natsuno frowned at the mention and he fiddled with the edge of his sleeves as though he were evading the question. "September 16th. A few weeks before I died so, about seven weeks before I came here."

"It can happen. Doesn't mean it HAS to."

Trying to talk about Natsuno's home was kind of fighting a losing battle, and Riku knew it. He wasn't familiar enough with the situation, and didn't know the people involved. It was easy to say maybe Natsuno could get out and find others like him, other Jinrou who didn't want to work for the vampires and could maybe figure out a way to carry on with life in as normal a way as possible, but Riku didn't actually have any idea what truth to that there was. If any.

Maybe it was better to focus on the here and now. Who knew when they'd be able to go home anyway?

He frowned a little, still curious about Tohru and whether or not he was actually dead, in the way Riku defined it.

"Is he still around as a vampire? Or is he...gone?"

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