Cold Snap on the Normandy

[psychadrellic]

Who: The crew of the Normandy
Where: Aboard the Normandy SR-NO
When: Backdated to during the cold snap
What: Crew bonding, IDK.
Warnings: PG-13 for potty mouths and horrible innuendo
Style: Probably brackets
Status: Closed & Ongoing; backtags ahoy!
[Start a thread for your character, tag other character's threads, make everything as horrible and as awkward as possible]

Comments

[calibrating]

Effective in making me hate you both, maybe.

[He'll never admit that it feels better]

[Never]

[pluggedintheoverlord]

[Screw you, Garrus, Joker is going to sort of fold himself up against your side and stay there. It's like being against a heated bag full of wire coat hangers, but beggars can't be choosers.]

Shut up, Vakarian.

[psychadrellic]

My apologies, Garrus. I hope that the benefit at least outweighs the inconvenience.

[Even though he doesn't feel like he's got any body heat of his own to share.]

[calibrating]

Fine. I guess I can forgive Thane.

[BUT NOT YOU JOKER]

[YOU SHITHEAD]

[pluggedintheoverlord]

Hey, it was my idea. I'm the one that annexed Thane into the Blanket Alliance in the first place.

[SO FUCK YOU, GARRUS.]

[psychadrellic]

[...Oh, good, it's the Garrus-Joker Comedy Hour, and Thane has a front row seat. Joy and rapture.

He's just going to huddle quietly next to Garrus and absorb that delicious furnace-like heat and not say anything while the two snipe at each other.]

[calibrating]

That still makes it your fault, you jackass.

[Make yourself some popcorn, Thane]

[Also Garrus may have sort of bumped Joker with his hip. Not enough to SHATTER ALL OF HIS BONES OH GOD but it's good for sending a message]

[pluggedintheoverlord]

I take full responsibility for making us not freeze our balls off.

[Joker sort of swayed at the hip bump, but otherwise was unmoved and totally not impressed, and still firmly lodged against Garrus' side. It would take a crowbar and a krogan to pry him off.]

Those of us who have balls on the outside, anyway.

[calibrating]

[Have another wiggle there, Joker. A half-hearted wiggle, but a wiggle nonetheless]

Not only do I hope your balls freeze, Moreau, but I hope-- no, I pray-- they snap right the fuck off and shatter at your feet.

[pluggedintheoverlord]

I'm detecting a little hostility here.

[That wiggle does nothing but start a little wiggle train. Everyone wiggle with Vakarian!]

[psychadrellic]

[Why is there wiggling. What the fuck is even going on here. It's nice and warm, true, but somebody needs to watch their hip spurs. And what are these two, a comedy duo or a horrible old married couple?

Somehow, Thane never would have imagined in a million years that signing on to Shepard's suicide mission would involve so much wiggling.]

[calibrating]

[Thane your expectations were set way too high]

Gee, I wonder where that's stemming from.

[And that would be another hip bump]

[pluggedintheoverlord]

Your wounded ego, most likely.

[Hip pinball is a go. Joker will just bump his own hip back against Garrus, avoiding his pointy spur.]