high_seas | (no subject)

I'm not exactly sure how you're "dragging" me into anything if I'm here of my own free will.

[Ugh ugh ugh...this is so...stupid. This isn't how this is supposed to go. He refuses to believe it. If Anders wanted Hawke to leave him alone, Hawke is sure he would just tell him so, outright.

So, he shuffles a bit closer, returning the distance between them to the narrow gap it had been before Anders had tried to pull away. He flexes his fingers briefly against Anders' hips, picking up the warming spell from where it had trailed off in his distraction.]

...I don't think you truly believe that.

[You wouldn't be making that face otherwise, Anders. 8(]

[Oh, Hawke. You really are too good to him. Far more so than he deserves.

Maybe he should just be honest.]

I nearly killed an innocent girl.

[A while ago for him now, but from what he can tell Hawke doesn't remember.]

[...Uh. What? He was not expecting this conversation to go...there.]

When was this?

A while ago. Or at least it feels like it. Did I tell you about Ser Alrik yet?

You haven't.

[Oh, good. More future stuff he ought to know about but doesn't because it hasn't happened for him yet.]

He... had a solution. To magic. He wanted to turn all mages tranquil, and he'd been taking them from the Circle and putting them through the rite.

[It's difficult to keep the anger from his voice even as he says it. There are too many Templars like him, and too many willing to turn a blind eye. But he clenches his fists briefly and then continues.]

I came to you for help. We found him with another mage he'd just brought. Justice came out and I-- I nearly killed her.

[The horror Hawke feels upon hearing the first part of Anders' explanation is pretty clear on his expression. His fingers tighten briefly on Anders's hips, both in reaction to the story and in an effort to provide some sort of support.]

Nearly.

[That's important. Let's focus on that.]

What stopped you? Was it me?

[He nods at that.]

If you hadn't been there...

But I was.

[Even as a dickbag warrior-type. That's actually kind of a relief to hear.]

And I want to be. Right here.

[Just in case that needed any clarification.]

[He hesitates again. He so wants to just accept what Hawke is offering.]

And if I can't control this?

Let's cross that bridge when we come to it.

If we come to it.

[he frowns again.]

You're still pursuing this, even knowing I nearly killed someone?

"Nearly."

I was able to talk you down once. If need be, I'll just do it again.

[Anders swallowed. All he could think about was the possibility of it not working - of Hawke being unable to talk him down at all - and he felt his stomach clench painfully. If it came to that... Well, it would be easier if Hawke wasn't too attached.]

And if you can't, Hawke?

[could you live with that?]

What did I just say about bridges, Anders?

[Would kissing him help? He's starting to think it might. If Anders keeps saying stupid things, he'll do it.]

I don't want to hurt you, Hawke.

[And that's why he's been resisting this for so long.]

That's good enough for me.

[And this is Hawke leaning in for a kiss. Will it work???]

[He tenses, at first. Hawke is taking all of this too lightly, and he wants - no, needs - to make him understand, but...

Then there's the soft touch of Hawke's lips against his own, the slight scrape of his beard. He exhales slowly, tightening his grip against Hawke's arms, and truthfully he was never going to resist. When he kisses back, it's needy and sloppy, because he's held back for months now. He can't anymore.

And the truth is he didn't really want Hawke to change his mind, either.]

Edited 2014-03-18 18:44 (UTC)

[For a split second Hawke thinks he might have misjudged the situation and made a mistake, but then Anders is returning the kiss, and it's sloppy and enthusiastic. Hawke's response is no less sloppy, and somewhere in the back of his mind he knows they must look a sight, but he's far too involved in dueling tongues and narrowly avoiding smashing teeth and noses together to care. For a beautiful, perfect moment he no longer feels the chill of the night air or the wet of the rain - there's only the warmth of Anders' spell and Anders' body, which causes him to shiver in a way that has nothing to do with the cold.]

[Anders takes a small step closer, which is all they need before there's no more space between them. He cups the back of Hawke's head with one hand, letting his other slide around Hawke's back, holding on tight. There's no going back for him, now; there's no way for him to resist this at all.

The rain is still running down their faces, making the kiss more than a little wet, but he cocks his head slightly and suddenly it's a lot less awkward. A small sound escapes from the back of his throat, and he presses himself even tighter. There's no misjudgments here, because he wants this more than he can say.]

[and there's a cooing noise from behind them. Guess who's here to make things better?]

"And thus, the lion fell in love with the lamb, succumbing to its sick, masochistic ways, ne'er to be free to hide in the murky depths of the dankest corner of the ship thanks to the all entrenching light and the power of love~"

[she could go on with more nonsense like this, but. Still. Just how long has she been standing there? Who knows.]

[There sure are some serious drawbacks to living and working on such a small ship. Like cockblocking captains.]

That sounds like a lovely story. Perhaps you could write it down, and share it with us later.

[ISABELA HOW COULD YOU]

[Do you have any idea how long he's wanted this, Isabela? How long he's resisted this? ...Not that she'd understand the concept of resisting someone you want to bed.

Captain Cockblock should be her new official title.]

You're supposed to be asleep. Go back to sleep.

Ooooh, shivery.

[no, she's pretty unrepentant. You two were kinda nauseating.] Really? So who exactly had night watch?

[canoodling during watch. For shame.]

[Captain Cockblock it is!]

That would be me. I'm happy to report that everything was quite dull, cold, and rainy up until about five minutes ago, when a soaking wet apostate appeared on the deck and wandered over to the rail to look out over the water.

[Obviously Izzy knows the rest]