high_seas | (no subject)

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Who: Riku and Natsuno
Where: Up in the Crow's Nest
When: Nov. 19
What: Natsuno is alone up there, on watch, Riku's had enough of his crap.
Warnings: Discussion of suicide, death, possibly other unpleasantries
Style: Prose
Status: Closed

It was a relatively peaceful night, all things considered. There wasn't much to keep watch with, but perhaps more that Natsuno couldn't sleep. Ever since his nightmare, he'd found himself having a bit of difficulty with his memories and while he might be able to keep them at bay at times, now when he's alone, it's too difficult.

The night was so calm out on the water, unlike what was going on internally. He found himself sighing a lot. After a little while he pulled out the stake which he had handy and balanced it on his fingers. If only he had the strength, he'd have done something about this already. He wasn't sure why people didn't understand why he needed to be eliminated. All of this camaraderie, the kinds of people who didn't expect anything out of him, he wasn't used to it. It had been too long, and the only person in town like them was Tohru. Tohru who never deserved to die in the first place, but maybe that wasn't all, maybe Shimizu annoying as she was, didn't deserve it either. If only the vampires had left their village alone, he wouldn't be in this predicament.

If he had realized when it was Tohru's turn, if only he had known he could have done something. He would have. It was with these thoughts that Natsuno was lost, staring out into the void.

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"It's a learning process," Riku said. "If it seems impossible, I get that. But you know, a lot of times we're our own worst enemy. Nobody else has a problem with you. You're the only one who does."

Just like Riku had been the one who was willing to step out of Sora and Kairi's lives after he'd succumbed to the Darkness again. He'd been the only one who thought he wasn't...worthy of being their friends. And he'd also been the only one who thought he'd never be able to go home and face everyone. Sora had had to convince him otherwise.

"It's just a matter of accepting things as they are," he continued after a moment. "And then moving past it. When you've got a few stubborn people in your life who are willing to help, it might even be kind of easy. Even when you never thought it could be."

He scrubbed at his face, pushing his fingers through his hair after a moment and sighed deeply. "I didn't think about it. I had...been a vampire just a few weeks and I was going into my death. I didn't think about what would happen if I didn't die. I didn't think there would be anything else and I didn't think I would ever leave Sotoba."

Natsuno spoke at a whisper. "I don't even know how I feel about dying or anything. When I think about it my chest hurts a little too."

"Well, now you can think about it. Think about what other options you have and who knows, maybe you'll discover that choosing to live isn't a bad thing. Things will get better."

Riku grinned a bit.

"After all, no other asshole vampires here. Just pirates."

"Better, huh." Natsuno murmured. "Well, I suppose it might be okay. I can...stick with you guys maybe. Be a pirate and all that."

He fixed a look on Riku. "When I outlive you, I'll probably do it then. I don't want to live forever...even if I let my life, whatever it would have been, elapse."

There was a moment's pause while Riku considered that, then his grin widened.

"Well, I don't plan on dying for a really long time..."

It wasn't like he'd have any say in what Natsuno did when he wasn't around anymore anyway. Besides, there was always the possibility he'd change his mind.

Riku gave a firm nod.

"So...alright. It's a deal."

Natsuno sat up a bit, a lot less guarded in his posture and he extended his hand to shake on it. That's what people did, right?

Riku didn't pause, just reached out and took Natsuno's hand, gripping tight as they shook on it.

"It'll be fine, you'll see."

"I'll believe you." Natsuno said with a weak little smile. He squeezed his hand back and let go after a moment. "I don't know how to do this but...I'll figure it out."

"We'll figure it out."

"Okay. We'll figure it out." Natsuno said, leaning over to bump shoulders with him. Even though he was emotionally exhausted, it was still as if a weight had been lifted from his shoulders.

He bumped shoulders back, then let out a long, relieved sigh and let his head tip back and thunk off the crow's nest behind them.

"I thought I was going to have to literally knock some sense into you for a second there. Give you a nice punch to the face or something."

Natsuno seemed to ponder that over.

"I suppose I do owe you one shot sooner or later, but I'd more then likely hit you back."

He smiled just a little bit. "It'll be okay. We'll just think of something good."

Riku raised an eyebrow, looking a tad smug.

"Oh don't worry, you can hit back. I think I can handle it."

Natsuno's eyes narrowed.

"Are you implying something?"

His tone seemed a bit lighter, despite everything.

"...Nope. Not at all."

Riku glanced away with an all-too-innocent look.

"Don't think I'm afraid to punch you, I'm not!"

Natsuno flushed a little in light anger.

"I know you're not," Riku said, laughing. "I'm just not too worried about going at it with you."

He snorted. "I'm so sure, but since I owe you one, I won't prove it."

He gave an easy shrug, still looking amused.

"Thanks ever so," he said dryly. "This unbearably handsome face of mine looks better unbruised anyway."

Natsuno gave him another bump with his shoulder and snorted again.

"Unbearably handsome? That what you're going with now?"

"Well, yeah. It's only the truth."

Riku smirked and added a little hair flip for good measure.

The cockiness, the hair flip, it's all too much and Natsuno threw his head back a bit and laughed. This was no little chuckle either, he was actually laughing properly.

"I can't...you're just..." He can barely speak until he's managed to get himself back under control.

"Riku that, you are definitely confident."

...Riku wasn't sure what kind of reaction he'd been expecting, but it wasn't actual laughing. He watches Natsuno in amazement for a moment, before a grin spreads over his face and he laughs, too.

"I know. It's a problem." Still chuckling, he covers his face with a hand. "I used to be even worse, actually. If you can believe that."

Still smiling despite himself Natsuno just shook his head a little. "Worse? Really?"

That was pretty incredible.

"I suppose you have nothing to worry about, so you can get away with it, most likely. Although I'm not sure unbearably handsome is the way to go."

"Yeah. I was a little shit. Sometimes I wonder how Sora put up with me at all."

He shifted a bit, rearranging himself so he was sitting cross-legged and could prop his elbow on his knee, his cheek resting in his palm as he gave Natsuno an amused look.

"What is the way to go, then?"

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I don't even have an icon for this, you broke it!

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