Roxas On The Ship

[heartismyown]

 Who: Roxas, The Spade Pirates
Where: On the ship
When: After arriving at the island, Roxas is trying to catch his bearings on the ship. (December 12)
What: Time for Roxas to make some new friends
Warnings: Questions. Lots of questions.
Style: Any
Status: Closed to crew

Roxas was confused.

This in itself was not that unusual, however it was different. Everything he worried about just days ago seemed to be less of a problem now that he's found himself in a new, somewhat hostile world. He met Riku and followed him to a ship, and today he was just hanging out, trying to get a feel for the place, and maybe unscramble the mess that was his memories.

In the morning, he can be found sitting on the railing overlooking the sea. Roxas looks content doing so, he had a fascination with the water.

In the afternoon, he can be found in the galley getting a snack, or perhaps down below deck, checking out his room and pacing between it and the steps so he can remember where it is.

In the evening, he can be found on deck on his back, staring at the stars.

Comments

[uccellodifuoco]

[He chuckles at the questions.]

When I was a kid, I used to think about things in terms of fair and unfair. Later I learned that there's no such a thing as something that is fair, life is unfair. It's the way it is, whether we like it or not.

I also used to think that one could actually change those things, take the things they didn't like and make them better.

[A pause as he puts a box above another one.]

There are a few things that can be fixed that way. But most of the things can't. And as ugly as it is, there's nothing we can do about it. Life isn't fair, it's isn't even nice. What makes it nice is what you do with it, what you get for yourself. If you just sit and wait for it to be fair and nice on you? You're just wasting your life and missing on the few good things you can find, I learned that a bit late.

[heartismyown]

I don't really understand everything you said, but...

[Roxas nods a bit.]

What if you're the one doing the wrong thing?

[uccellodifuoco]

Depends. What do you think about it? If you could go back, would you do it again or avoid doing it?

[heartismyown]

[Roxas frowns a little.]

Well I'm not exactly sure what happened. I think I'm missing something, up here you know? [He taps his head.]

I don't know why I left the Organization. I know I wanted to destroy Kingdom Hearts and find Sora. Namine told me they're bad people. The Organization is wrong..I don't know what I think about it, I didn't think about it while I was doing it.

[He sighs.]

I showed up with nothing in my head. I'm not sure I had a choice. Xemnas found me and gave me my name. I think I'd have to do it again, right?

[uccellodifuoco]

No, I mean if you, as you are now, with what you know and have been told, traveled back then and met your empty self then. Would you let it do things as they happened or would you want to change it? Stop it?

[heartismyown]

[Roxas is a little thrown by the question.]

If I didn't, what would happen to me? I wouldn't know Axel. Or anything else.

[uccellodifuoco]

[Ikki shrugs.]

Probably not. But you wouldn't have worked for those guys who are "bad" and wouldn't have done bad things yourself while doing their missions. The question is, would that be worth not knowing Axel?

[heartismyown]

[Roxas frowns a little bit.]

I really don't know. Maybe I could have been friends with Hayner, Pence and Olette instead.

[uccellodifuoco]

You can't say if knowing Axel is important for you?

[heartismyown]

It is important. I can't guess what things would be like without him. I never thought about it.

[He sighs softly.]

No, I don't think I would have been friends with them. Maybe DiZ would have found me when I was a zombie and that would have been the end of me there.

[uccellodifuoco]

So it's better if things happened the way they did? Even if that caused you to do bad things for those people?

[heartismyown]

It might be. It's hard to guess something like that.

[uccellodifuoco]

Hn, maybe with time you will get a clearer idea. You're going to have a lot of it here if you're lucky.

[heartismyown]

A lot of this is really hard to understand. I don't really know anything about what would happen if things didn't happen like they did.

[He sighs softly.]

More time would be nice.

[uccellodifuoco]

No one does. But normally you know about the things that have happened and can see which ones you wouldn't like to ever lose, those are the things that make everything worth it. Even if for them you had to do something horrible.

[heartismyown]

Maybe I'm forgetting more things than I know.

[Roxas runs his hand through his hair.]

Lose? Like having something you can't lose. I remember. You need to have something to hold onto. Like Demyx and his sitar.

[uccellodifuoco]

Most people would refer to someone, rather than to something. In your case I suppose that would be Axel, if he really is your best friend.

[heartismyown]

They would? [He blinks a little bit.]

When Axel and I talked about it before, it was because I was keeping track of how many days I'd been around. That's what I was hanging onto. Nobodies don't...aren't supposed to have friends, I don't think. But Axel's mine. I don't think I could lose him.

[uccellodifuoco]

If he dies, you could. Or if he forgets about you.

[A pause.]

Or when you vanish from existence, though in that case it will be him the one to lose you.

[heartismyown]

I guess that's true. He's got a heart now, he'll be okay.

[uccellodifuoco]

Idiot.

If he has a heart and still considers you his best friend then he's definitively not going to be okay if he loses you. I doubt you would be fine either losing him, but whatever.

[heartismyown]

I don't know. I thought he was gone once and it hurt in my chest.

[uccellodifuoco]

Your heart hurt.

[heartismyown]

Well maybe it would if I had one.

[Roxas scratches his head sheepishly.]

[uccellodifuoco]

No. Your heart hurt. The heart is located in the chest, which is where you were hurting.