high_seas | fiery violent pirate babies

*Selphie looks at the box too, then smiles as she watches Ikki try to figure things out. She nods at his suggestion, unclipping the tracks so that she could fit the tunnel where he points*

Like this? Yeah, I think that looks good! What do you think?

I like it, especially if you like it.

[Since all of this was for her after all.]

It would be stupid if I liked it and you didn't. What kind of gift would that be?

Oh! Then in that case we both really like it!

*She breaks into a huge smile, just happy to be with the train set, and to see how pleased Ikki seems*

I think it would still be a very kind gift, even if I didn't like it. But I do - I really, really love it! Trains are one of my most favourite things ever!

I know, you were upset when I gave Roxas that train set. So I decided to get you an even better and bigger one. It was supposed to help make up to you for me always being bad with you?

[Though he only is bad because he rebels against caretaker rules and such.]

Though I wouldn't be bad and disobey you if you let me be. I can take care of myself, I'm eight years old already!

[POUT AND FROWN ATTACK.]

*She looks a little sheepish about that - probably that was where he thought she'd been silly and childish*

That's really very kind if you. It makes me so happy, getting such a special present!

*She smiles brightly and nods her head as though she's taking his comments very seriously*

You are! A brave eight years old. But you know...it's okay to let people help you sometimes, if you need it.

I know. Marco told me that even the strongest people need help.

[Pause.]

I'll let you know if I need it.

[Which he doesn't need now... Wait.]

You can keep helping me to set this up, though, since it's yours and all.

[There, don't think he's pushing you away because he isn't... Not that he cares if you stay either! Don't get the wrong idea.]

He's very right. And... good.

*She's heard that before, and already feels that maybe she should be shifting to leave him alone*

Oh! Well, maybe... maybe we could put on the trains and watch them go round?

*Alright, so maybe the excitement is kicking in now as she picks up the rest of the little coloured trains*

Okay!

[His expression relaxes into a mix of a frown that is starting to be eternal and a smile that will practically vanish in a matter of years.

He quickly sets the rest of the pieces as Selphie sets the trains.]

It's done!! Looks great, right?

*Selphie looks at him, still smiling, just glad to know that at some point in his childhood Ikki was capable of having fun and seeming happy*

It looks amazing!

*She sets the trains in motion, watching as they begin to make their way around the elaborate set. Selphie couldn't look more pleased and excited with the train set, and she claps her hands together and begins quietly singing her own train song*

Train, train, take us away, far away...

[He moves a bit closer to her, saying nothing as she sets the trains in motion. A small smile in his face as she quietly sings her little tune.

This is all he wanted from this after all. For her to have something she liked and that maybe made her feel a bit special, and which made her smile no matter what. He himself has no interest in the train set, so he contents himself with just watching her play.]

*She doesn't notice when he sits closer at first, because she's so enthralled in what she's doing. Selphie continues to play along with the trains, stopping them and making them wait before going over the hills. Then it paused to let some little plastic ducks cross the tracks. Finally, she turns to Ikki, all smiles, and offers a train*

You wanna play?

[He is a bit surprised by the offer, he's used to share things with Shun and to have Shun trying to share things with him, but outside of them both... No one shares. The world just doesn't work that way and when it seems that it does it's a trap.

Ikki shifts uncomfortably, looking at the train set with a small frown before he looks at her with a small smile. He shakes his head firmly.]

It's okay, I'm having fun watching you play. Play a bit more, please.

Oh.

*Selphie seems a little taken aback by that - what fun could there possibly be in watching her play? But, since he's watching... Selphie makes more of a storyline to go with her trains, and they start having different voices, talking about how important it is that they take their passengers safely to where they need to go. She's not sure if it's interesting or not, but she tries to make it amusing, occasionally giggling to herself*

[Ikki makes no sound, but he doesn't misses a thing of the playing. Nor of the story, nor of how happy Selphie is while playing. For him, used to give everything he can to his little brother and enjoy it through seeing him happy, this is the most fun he know how to have.]

*The trains are eventually tired, apparently, and they have all go home to bed, so they're sent to rest together at the station. Then Selphie finally lets go of them and sits back, turning to look at Ikki with a soft smile*

I've missed you, Ikki.

*She's not sure if she really meant to say that aloud, or if Ikki will remember this later. But it's said, and it's true*

[The kid just looks at her, with the expression of one who doesn't fully understand, but who knows that something is wrong. Because he knows, he liked Selphie before, she was fun and all. And then... Bad things happened, things he can't remember, but he knows he tried to fix them, like how he got the train set for her.

But then he never did. And never talked with her again. Why? He doesn't know, nor does he understand. But it's how things happened. He frowns as he thinks before finally nodding, still frowning and looking down.]

I wish it could be like when we were at the beach. It was fun then, we were friends.

*Selphie's own expression is similar - she doesn't understand everything, not exactly, and not how it is that Ikki can remember some things, and seemingly not others. When he looks down, she looks down too, pulling her legs up closer to her chest. She presses her eyes hard against the back of her knees, vowing as she has to herself to never show tears, or any emotion, to Ikki ever again*

Me too. I liked being friends. It made me very happy.

Why did you want it to change?

[It's not an accusation but an honest question as Ikki sits there watching her.]

I didn't want it to change. Ever since then everything was bad. And now I dunno how to fix it... Is it one of those things you said? That can't be fixed at all?

*When she speaks up, it's with a soft and careful voice. There's been a lot of time for Selphie to think things through in the months that they haven't been talking, and she can speak about it calmly, and has to, in front of this much younger version*

I didn't want it to change either. I think I broke it so that it can't be fixed anymore... I tried my best but I think maybe - Maybe I was never good enough. Maybe you needed someone nicer, and someone more clever, someone who wasn't so...useless.

*She turns to him slowly when she's sure that she can look at him, and gives a shaky smile*

You have much better friends, so I don't think you really need me.

But none of them are you. You're the only one who is you, so I need you.

[Ikki frowns as he looks at the train set again.]

I don't get it. Why do you say that you broke it? I don't know well what I did, I don't understand. But I thought I was the one who broke it. I am the bad one. I am the one who has to fix things and can't, because I don't know how.

*Selphie turns away again, so confused with what is going on. For so long she's wanted to hear him say that, but it was very different, coming from his eight year old self. She bites her lip, thinking of how best to explain all of this, how to say it without showing how upset she is*

Well, it's all quite confusing. But I think... I didn't say the right things or do the right things. I wanted to, but it came out all wrong. It's like... You know that way that sometimes your body is full of so many feelings that you don't know what to do with them? It was like that, and I made mistakes and did things wrong.

*She can't help but think back to her reactions on the boat, to what she said and did in the crow's nest. She's often wondered what might have happened if she'd said or done something even slightly differently*

You're not bad, though, Ikki. You shouldn't think that you are bad. I think some days you just didn't like me... but that's not your fault...

*Selphie pauses, clearing her throat and swiftly sniffing back tears*

I'm just - I'm just so sorry that I wasn't strong enough to fix it, or to stop everything from breaking in the first place.

[Ikki's confused frown only grows more and more as she speaks. He really can't understand it. His body being full of many feelings and not knowing what to do with them? He has never experienced that, he just does as his feelings say, if they say anything. Then again, nothing with Selphie makes sense, nothing has made sense for a long, long time to him. The last time things made sense was back at the beach and that was so long ago he could barely remember it. And yet it's the clearest memory of all, because the next ones are kind of empty, too dark and foggy and all he knows is that everything was bad and ugly. Everything hurt as it hadn't hurt ever before. Not even when his mother died and he was left alone with a newborn baby, with no idea of what to do or where to go.

Once more, he looks at the train set. He had bought it to try to make up to her, to try to use it as a way to start fixing things. But he never got around to give it to her, was this why? Because he realized that it couldn't be fixed? That nothing mattered anymore? Maybe that was why, but now he doesn't really remember even if he's coming to understand it.

The child sighs before he makes a humming sound and moves to stand up.]

I don't really get it yet. But I get that it can't be fixed at all, right? If so... It's okay. It's sad, but it's still okay.

Because in the streets with just Shun, all I had was Shun. I never really had anything else, not that lasted. At first I tried to keep some toys, but I ended losing them or they ended breaking. And do you know? Going around while holding broken toys or trying to fix them when you can't is difficult and makes you distracted, too distracted to take care of the things that aren't broken. And at the end I ended losing everything but Shun.

I don't really know if it applies here but, if it can't be fixed... There's no way around it. It can't be fixed, that's all. I'm going to miss you and I still wish it could go back to how it was, but I won't bother you again. It's not fair for you, is it? To keep trying to fix something that's broken and can't be repaired, even if I could put it again, it wouldn't be the same, it will still be broken. I think I got that before and that's why I didn't give you the train set, but I get it now again. I don't regret giving you the train set though, I hope it can still make you happy.

[He stands there for a moment, scratching his leg through his pants as he looks at her, a frown and a pout in his face.]

Hmm, I'm sorry for all the bad things I did. Thank you for letting me play with you this one last time. I'm gonna look for Marco now, bye!

[And with that he heads for the door and the hall, to start a new search for Marco.]

I don't really get it either... And maybe one day it can be fixed, but we just have to figure out what it is.

*Selphie chews on her lip, shifting uncomfortably, wanting to tell him that he doesn't have to ignore her, or leave her alone, that he can come back to her if he wants to, that she wants to sit and talk with him even after the curse is over... But she's confused him enough already, and the poor boy is only young. Besides, she's still unsure of how much of this conversation he'll remember later*

I'm - I'm sorry for all the bad things I did too.

*Her voice chokes a little as she looks at Ikki, undecided about reaching out for a hug. But she's scared of thinking about how angry adult Ikki might be about that, if he remembers. Still, she puts on a bright smile and nods her head*

Alright. Go have good fun with Marco! Thank you so much for the train set - it really is so special and it's made me really happy. So...yeah, thank you, Ikki.

fiery violent pirate babies

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