PIRATES vs. NAVY BATTLE LOG

[highseasmods]

December 9th finds some new arrivals to this world, the same curious phenomenon that's been occurring for the past few months.

This time, however, the Navy is prepared -- or so they think.

They've got troops stationed around the island, and ships on the water to stop any arrogant, foolhardy pirates and would-be sailors from trying to make port.

So hit them with all you've got, but they're not going down easily...

Comments

[hollywood_bro]

The God Tier duds aren't so bad. Alpha Dave likes the color, though the design could use some work. He isn't sure how he feels about the hoodie, but it's better than the ridiculously undersized clothing his younger self was wearing a moment ago.

"You're gonna have to give me the lowdown on the all evils of puppets sometime." He's starting to feel like he's missing out. What could have possibly happened to make young Dave hate them so much?

[dersite_dj]

Dave could have just tossed his older self his shades, told him the folder and let him go to town on the footage Bro kept sending him of all the filthy puppet-based escapades that went on in the house, but that would have undoubtedly beckoned the question, 'Why the fuck did you keep it?' which would leave Dave's mind in the dust.

"It's no biggie. Just remember that shit is whack and if you've got anyone under your sphere of influence you ought to radiate an intense amount of subliminal anti-puppet propaganda."

[hollywood_bro]

Alpha Dave would have found the puppet escapades unsettling and it would've made him wonder about Dirk and his hobbies. Young Dave didn't give him much of an explanation, but he accepts it. No sense in making a big deal out of this.

"I've got the market cornered on subliminal propaganda." Not that he plans on incorporating anti-puppet material into his work. Whatever is wrong with puppets it can't possibly be as bad as the Batterwitch. "Movies, blogs, websites, you name it. All the digital media. Don't do books though, that's Rose's thing."

[dersite_dj]

At that, Dave managed to feel even more inadequate in the face of things. Sure, he had magical pajamas that grew with him, never got dirty and repaired themselves. Despite that, his older, alternate self managed to get a life, build up a goddamn massive sphere of influence and apparently grow up to be someone not easily alienated or indoctrinated by the world's bullshit.

It was an effective enough way to let Dave know that he wasted three of his life running around with a guy wearing black bandages and drawing on nearly every fucking wall of the library with age-old chalk. Though, who was he kidding? Nobody could fucking avoid being besties with the Mayor. It was impossible not to love that guy and he didn't regret a second of their time spent together. Best guy ever.

"Wait," He trudged along, decidedly doing the stuff that he hated. Allowing exposition. "What's Lalonde's deal? She's back into writing?" And not pounding down home-made vodka like it was the ONE NAIL STANDING UP?

[hollywood_bro]

Alpha Dave couldn't be more proud of his media empire. He was happy with his comics when he was younger, but the movies are ten times better. If only young Dave knew what it was like to direct his own films and hang out with the stars. It was the most awesome thing ever. Until the Batterwitch killed his cast. He got revenge though. One shitty juggalo president down for each of his beloved movie stars. Ben Stiller and Donald Glover can rest in peace.

"Don't think she ever stopped. She's been writing CotL since we were kids. The volumes are fucking massive, dude. Thicker than my dick. You could kill a cat with one of those things like... drop it from a two story building, it'll cause a fucking earthquake." And on top of that there were six of them. "Snarky bookshrews never stop writing."