high_seas | Not feeling like myself today...

It wouldn't have turned out badly if he hadn't disguised himself. Instead, he assumed we were mad at him, rather than asking us. Honestly Roxas, I expect that behavior from a ten year old, but he's the one trying to act more mature than me, so I'd like to see that.

No one is mad at him, we just don't want to tie him down if he wasn't happy here. That would be unfair to him, and we have more respect for ourselves than that. If he is happier elsewhere, we understand. That doesn't mean we hate him or never want to see him again. He had our tattoo after all. It's his choice whether to remove it, [Although if Lea didn't consider himself part of the Spades and kept the tattoo, Marco would have ripped it off so.... "his choice" is uh... right.] but just because he doesn't want to be part of the family doesn't mean we suddenly hate him.

I told him about Blackbeard not so he'd get that impression, but so that he would understand why I am the way I am about protecting Thatch. Moreover, our problem with Teach isn't that he left, it's that he hid his true motives, stabbed Thatch in the back, and didn't have the balls to face us.

[Sighs. He promised himself not to put Roxas in the middle, but he still wants to go kick Lea. To address it and make sure they both have their stories straight.]

If anything, if Lea wasn't a former nakama, I'd be livid enough to murder him right now. If anyone else pulled what he did, they would be in a huge amount of trouble, and I thought he knew that. Either he isn't giving me credit for treating him as himself, or he's being incredibly cowardly. Either way, I'm disappointed.

[He finishes his candy and sits up, turning around to face Marco seriously.]

If I thought I was in danger somewhere, I wouldn't hesitate to do the same thing. [It seems like a perfectly valid, rational response to Roxas. Organization training at its best.] Try and fit in, keep a low profile and then try and get out. Maybe Lea is wrong about the threat level to him, but you have to understand he's way deeper into these things than I am.

[He sighs a little.] He talked about changing his tattoo so you don't have to worry about that. [Roxas does though and he's unhappy about it.]

[And he gets to the crux of the matter that somehow looks much more solemn and serious in this older body. He takes the sword out, sheath and all, from where it sits at his waist and holds it out in one hand. He doesn't pull the blade out, he's just making a point.]

You know, if you tried that, I would have to stop you.

[Even if it tore him apart, even if he cried during and afterwards, he would fight Marco to save Lea.]

We protect each other. It doesn't matter who's threatening him. I will stop them.

Edited 2014-08-26 00:23 (UTC)

Then come with me, we're going to have a talk with him.

It seems to me that the person Lea is punishing most right now is himself, and it's starting to affect you too.

If I'm making it worse on him you can tell me to back off and I'll go to the crow's nest so he can have space, agreed?

[Roxas hesitates for a moment. He isn't sure Lea wants to talk to Marco, at all.]

I'm okay. It's just that I don't know if he wants to talk to you at all. He's already...

[They both were already emotional wrecks from everything else. Lea would have no problem telling Marco where to go if he didn't want to talk though and if he got mad at Roxas, well he could handle the consequences.]

I guess you can try. I can't promise he'll talk to you.

That's fine. I don't think he even realizes that Thatch is kidnapped by slavers. If he doesn't care about that, then I don't know that I want to talk to him. I told Ikki, Lea is to you what Thatch is to me. The only person I would dare fight my Pops to defend, is Thatch. [Gets up and takes Guy's hand for his own emotional support as he leads them on out.] Ace too, but Ace wouldn't need it. Pops always knew Ace better than the rest of us. Because they shared a dream, eh?

[Roxas doesn't have a problem with the hand holding. His free hand pushes the sword back where it belongs. It's not a smooth movement but very awkward. Keyblades are far more convenient.]

Did they? I don't know anything about it really...

[Roxas exhales.]

I have to protect him. You understand that, right? [Even from himself.]

[Stops on the stairs, sits on one and ruffles Guy's head.] Of course I do.

I have never questioned that Roxas, not even once.

I won't pretend that anyone else gets it, and I don't feel like it's my place to explain, but ...

[Scoots sideways and pats the stair so Roxas can briefly sit with him again.]

None of you knew me the way I was before Thatch. Haruta could tell you a few stories, but even then, Haruta I liked more than everyone else.

Remember how you described the first few days of being in existence, and how patient Lea was with you?

I was a little like that too. Except I was almost only ever a bird. I didn't want to talk to anyone, I didn't make friends, I was obsessed with getting revenge, I wanted to kick most people in the face. I only saw myself as a weapon, and I didn't want to be anything else.

Xemnas made you so he could try to take over, right? Well, I have a lot of jobs as first mate, but one... isn't really a job. It's a bad habit.

I don't trust easily. Pops trusts... everyone, eh. And Ace relies on his own strength and the strength of his family, so that he can trust as many people as he wants. But I don't want to trust people.

Every time my crew, the Whitebeards, was infiltrated by spies or traitors, I was the one who found them to kick them out. Except Blackbeard. But every time we got new crew, I was the last person to trust them. I don't trust well. Even in war, I'm the paranoid one with my instincts on high.

Thatch was the exception. The first one to change all that. Before Thatch I didn't like any people. I just wanted to be a phoenix and left alone. Thatch was the first one I really trusted in a way I didn't even share with my Pops, eh? He taught me what it means to be human. And that it can be really fun, eh? He was one of the first people I took flying.

Without Thatch, I wouldn't be me. Without Lea, you wouldn't be you.

When I lost Thatch, I felt like my world was over.

That's why I wasn't nice to Lea. Thatch was hurt and I overreacted, eh? I can't take that back, and I won't, but trust me, I think I understand, yoi.

[Roxas did grab a seat when he was encouraged to and he listens quietly, giving the story some thought.]

It's okay if you can't trust people, I think.

[He nods though.]

Lea and I need each other though. He needs me too. Even when I'm too stupid to realize it. He's really patient though, most of the time.

Aye.

[One-armed hug for Roxas and Marco leans his chin over him.]

Thatch and I are that way too. So long as you remember that though, you'll always be able to get through things together. Just don't get separated again like with the navy, eh? [Taps Guy's nose.]

It won't happen again. I let my guard down...I won't let that happen anymore.

[He's a little upset he got caught. He's better than this.]

Alright...come on. Putting it off isn't going to put Lea in a better mood.

[He gets up after giving Marco a quick hug.]

Aye.

Don't worry, you'll be my secret weapon. Mostly because I'm counting on you to slice my shins if I cross a line, eh?

[That might sound flippant, but he's serious.]

Lea's strong. I know he's going to be okay, but I'll stop you if you do.

[It isn't far to Selphie's room. Roxas knocks once and pokes his head in.]

Hey Lea?

Hm?

[Lea, as usual, is sprawled on the floor with the journal open. It's just a little harder to sprawl when you have less to sprawl with.

What's up?

[He opens the door all the way and steps into the room, out of Marco's way.]

Marco wants to talk to you.

[Nothing about Lea's posture or position changes, but it's like you can see every single door slamming shut in his expression.]

Is that so? Am I supposed to clear my schedule or something?

If you want.

[Leans on the doorframe.]

Usually I'd be... shall we say 'miffed' that you felt the need to pretend to be Selphie?

But I'm more concerned that you were actually worried about being back here enough that you considered it necessary to stay in disguise.

Do you mind if I ask whether you still have your tattoo?

At the moment or back where I'm supposed to be right now?

[That's a no. If Selphie gets nosy and decides to poke around and see why Lea's shoulder hurts so much, she'd find that out. The design is much larger, much more elaborate, and there's no trace of the fiery red spade.]

Not as Selphie, on your own body. I don't want to ask Selphie, as that would be rude.

That's unsurprisingly hypocritical of you.

[Lea leans back and folds his arms behind his head.]

I have a tattoo. A nice big one on my shoulder like my captain's, though I think I'm a bit too skinny to pull off the whole down the arms, across the chest and over on the other side thing he's got going on. Not enough muscles, you know?

[Roxas gives a heavy sigh and looks away. He had no idea that Lea had done it, but he already had that fight and has nothing left to say.]

That's your choice.

But please understand, you are not unwelcome on this ship or any of the other Spades' ships.

You do not need to fear anything here for regards to your own safety unless you intend to directly harm one of the Spade crewmates, or allies. Even if you wished to protect a third party from us, that would not endanger your life, eh? We might still try to fight around you, but I'm fairly certain none of this crew would fight through you, much less purposely try to harm you. Even Ikki, if I have to deal with him personally, for all that he still has a bit of a temper about the situation.

Is that clear?

Wow. You really will say whatever will get you on his good side, won't you?

[There's no need to indicate who he means.]

[Shakes his head.]

No. I was going to invite you back to the crew if you still had your tattoo.

If you weren't in this crew before, and had still pulled that stunt in Selphie's body, I would be quite busy making your life hell right now. And in my world, I've beaten the living tar out of imposters and stranded them on islands stuck to survive, but made sure it was going to be an uphill struggle at best. I'm not nice, and I'm very cruel to imposters.

However, you were once nakama. I used to think you know what that meant to us, but I can see now, you don't. Trying to lay low because you were worried about our reaction shows you really don't know us as well as we thought. And that's on me. I'm... not a welcoming person. Obviously.

I told you about Blackbeard not so you would be afraid that we would treat you as a traitor, you would literally have to go as far as him to be that unforgivable, and I might be wrong, but I still don't believe you capable of that.

I told you about him so you'd understand why I'm as overprotective of Thatch as I am. And I wouldn't have told you any of that if I didn't trust you.

Thatch, Namur, and Leanne are currently captured by slavers. You're still welcome to stay and fight even when you're back to your regular body. And that has nothing to do with Roxas, but because when it comes to protecting my family I'm not so foolish as to refuse help when I may need it. And because, you once were nakama, and we considered you closer than a friend. [Aka: Caring for Thatch = assumed, but not forced, obviously.]

Roxas is likewise welcome to continue remaining a member of this crew, so long as he sees himself that way and is willing to openly declare himself as such. If you change your mind again, it would need to be discussed, but we don't ask anyone to stay if they will be unhappy here. If this is a bad place for you, that's all there is to it, that's your call, and we'll wish you luck, but please don't think we'll then resent you for it. We don't.

[Lea rolls his eyes incredulously. Seriously? Marco should have brought a guy with a violin with him or something.]

"Lea, please play nice so I can be Roxas' BFF. So sorry you can't actually come back to the crew because reasons, but we really do love you ever so much and don't understand why you would ever want to leave us. But you have, so...oh well, too bad. PS: We could use some extra hands, so it's totally about that, not what I said before. PPS: You're a horrible person, just so you know."

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