Roxas On The Ship

[heartismyown]

 Who: Roxas, The Spade Pirates
Where: On the ship
When: After arriving at the island, Roxas is trying to catch his bearings on the ship. (December 12)
What: Time for Roxas to make some new friends
Warnings: Questions. Lots of questions.
Style: Any
Status: Closed to crew

Roxas was confused.

This in itself was not that unusual, however it was different. Everything he worried about just days ago seemed to be less of a problem now that he's found himself in a new, somewhat hostile world. He met Riku and followed him to a ship, and today he was just hanging out, trying to get a feel for the place, and maybe unscramble the mess that was his memories.

In the morning, he can be found sitting on the railing overlooking the sea. Roxas looks content doing so, he had a fascination with the water.

In the afternoon, he can be found in the galley getting a snack, or perhaps down below deck, checking out his room and pacing between it and the steps so he can remember where it is.

In the evening, he can be found on deck on his back, staring at the stars.

Comments

[uccellodifuoco]

Is there anything you have learned on your own, or by reading it somewhere rather than having someone telling you?

[The question is done with pure curiosity and without any animosity.]

[heartismyown]

[Roxas needs to think about this. Reading wasn't really big on their to do list in the Organization. Might have been a good way to spend his day off, but at the time he didn't know that.]

I don't think so.

[uccellodifuoco]

[Ikki shakes his head.]

That's no way of living, kid, if all you know is what a few people tell you then you're no different from a puppet. A being without a heart, without a will and without a personality.

You have to question things, question what people tell you, ask others about what other people tell you. And I don't mean people who are in the same organized group like that Organization you mentioned, people outside of it. Ask people what means to have a heart and then think about how you have lived so far, what you have done when no one was telling you what to do exactly, how you reacted to things and decide yourself if you have one. Same for your existence.

[heartismyown]

[Roxas blinks a few times as he tries to take all of that in.]

Well I ask questions all the time, but Lea doesn't always answer them for some reason.

[What did he do when no one was telling him what to do? Uhhh...]

I don't know about the rest. I always did what Saix told me to, until I quit. But I can't remember why I quit. I decided to find Sora...for some reason. Then I was on vacation for a week, I think, sort of.

[uccellodifuoco]

I'm telling you, ask other people. And if no one can give you answers for what you're asking, go and find the answers yourself.

[He pauses and looks at Roxas.]

Maybe that's why you decided to find Sora? Have you talked with him yet?

[heartismyown]

[Roxas shakes his head.]

I haven't...I haven't seen him yet. Just Riku.

[uccellodifuoco]

Know what you will ask him when you see him?

[heartismyown]

[Roxas opens his mouth to say something but closes it and shakes his head instead.]

I don't even know where to start. I know I'm supposed to be just like him, but I don't have any memories. He has them all. The other Nobodies have memories of their previous lives but I was just empty.

[He sighs softly.]

He might not want to talk to me anyway. I know that Riku wasn't happy to see me, at least, I don't think so. He was frowning a lot.

[uccellodifuoco]

You don't look that much like him anyway. It's true there's an air of similarity, but it makes me think more of brothers than of equals.

[He shrugs, it doesn't really matter anyway.]

I don't know Sora much, but I don't think he would refuse to talk to you at least. And if he does, just go find your answers somewhere else. Or decide on them by yourself.

[heartismyown]

I really don't know much about that.

[He nods a little.]

I just don't know what to expect. I hope he will talk to me, I think. I'm not sure how I can decide on things that I don't know. I want to know more about where I came from. Who I am.

[uccellodifuoco]

No one ever knows what to expect about others. If they say otherwise, then they are lying.

And you decide on things that you don't know just by thinking about them. Read a book, listen to people around you even if you don't ask them questions. Sometimes people won't answer a direct question but will give you the answer when just talking about it without realizing.

[heartismyown]

Why can't they just answer my questions then?

[Roxas frowns a little.]

I don't really read much. I didn't have any books in the Organization or anything like that.

[uccellodifuoco]

Because some people are complicated like that, and questions aren't always welcomed, specially when they come in large numbers. And you should read, I don't read much either but I don't have tons of questions like you.

[heartismyown]

I guess I could do some reading.

[He tilts his head.]

You don't like to read?

[uccellodifuoco]

I just don't care much about it. Never got much time to read, or to learn to read complex things.

[heartismyown]

Oh. Yeah, I was really busy too. Every day I had to go on a mission, so I didn't have a lot of time to do things like that.

[uccellodifuoco]

Missions for the Organization? You guys had a tight schedule if you had to go on missions everyday. Or were so few that there weren't other options.

[heartismyown]

Well just me with a keyblade. [Roxas pat his chest.]

They needed me to go and collect the hearts. I don't know what other missions were, Axel wouldn't tell me his.

[uccellodifuoco]

[Ikki remains silent for a moment as he looks at Roxas before he sighs.]

I really wonder what's up with you guys and your world's obsession for "hearts".

[heartismyown]

Uh, well, Axel said it's because none of us have hearts, and if we collect people's hearts from the Heartless, then we can make Kingdom Hearts, and then we all get our own hearts.

[uccellodifuoco]

[Just a look.]

That doesn't make any sense.

[To him at least.]

[heartismyown]

Well...how do you mean?

[Roxas blinks back.]

[uccellodifuoco]

Nothing of it? Heartless, which are strange creatures steal hearts from people, and then the Organization, who don't have a heart, but aren't called "Heartless" and instead are "Nobodies", collect those hearts in return. All, to make a place named "Kingdom Hearts" and get a heart of their own, despite the fact that they had one and lost it, instead of recovering that, they aim to get a new one from that made up place.

[Pause.]

No, even if I repeat it, it still makes no sense.

[heartismyown]

I don't know if they can recover it...but I never had a heart to begin with. Sora has a heart though. All I know is I shouldn't exist.

[uccellodifuoco]

I keep saying that all that you say sounds to me as convenient lies told to you to get you to do what they wanted. And that you probably have more heart than many people who supposedly have it.