high_seas | Not feeling like myself today...

I guess so.

[He really isn't sure he gets it, but he does know it's not a good thing. Roxas crunches on his candy as he leans lazily against Marco's shoulder.]

You know what? I have a question for you. [Because he doesn't think Lea would know, or tell him.]

Do you know why Selphie is mad at me?

She's upset that you were more loyal to Lea than her.

It's very unsettling to have someone else in control of your body, it's even worse to know what they're doing with it, and then to hear that you knew but didn't tell her, she felt hurt.

You can make it up to her with flowers though. Or another kind of present, if you want.

I have to tell you, I'm not pleased with what Lea did either. [It's too reminiscent of Chameleone for Marco, and worse, he told Lea about Blackbeard, why would Lea risk doing something so reckless again?] And I can't understand it. Does he really consider us such enemies now? Do you know what he's scared of? I thought he just didn't like my attitude towards this world's denizens and wanted to protect you from it, but pretending to be Selphie has nothing to do with that.

[Roxas scratches his head a little.]

I get that, she said that, but I don't understand why. Why would I tell her that?

[He frowns as he gives it some consideration.]

I don't understand what the problem is. I think that Lea isn't sure you want to see him again. I think he thinks that you guys don't like him because he left and he thought if he could just blend into the background no one would be bothered and he could go back to his body soon enough.

So that way she would have known before Lea surprised her with it. She feels like you were conspiring to hurt her. Not that that's the case, that's just how she feels, eh?

Lea is an idiot.

I'm sorry, but that is not how it works. You know how Ace and I are, we punch each other in the face. We prefer people to be direct and upfront with us. [Shakes a hand through his hair.] I don't know if I should confront him or if that will just make things worse. So if you get a chance, please tell him he is welcome back anytime he wants to come. We don't hold anyone hostage here. If this is a bad fit, it's a bad fit. Nothing more, nothing less. My only anger is that he carelessly hurt Sephie by pretending to be her, and I don't appreciate being tricked, eh?

I guess so? [He's still confused about what is hurtful about it.]

It isn't? I don't know, but I didn't think you guys liked him much either. I know he is upset with you guys and he doesn't like you very much and he'd rather I didn't visit.

I guess he did trick you, but he knew Selphie so it worked, until he got found out. He didn't want to be in a bad situation which is what happened anyway. [He sighs. It was a disaster in fact.]

On a mission disguising yourself is usually how things go.

It wouldn't have turned out badly if he hadn't disguised himself. Instead, he assumed we were mad at him, rather than asking us. Honestly Roxas, I expect that behavior from a ten year old, but he's the one trying to act more mature than me, so I'd like to see that.

No one is mad at him, we just don't want to tie him down if he wasn't happy here. That would be unfair to him, and we have more respect for ourselves than that. If he is happier elsewhere, we understand. That doesn't mean we hate him or never want to see him again. He had our tattoo after all. It's his choice whether to remove it, [Although if Lea didn't consider himself part of the Spades and kept the tattoo, Marco would have ripped it off so.... "his choice" is uh... right.] but just because he doesn't want to be part of the family doesn't mean we suddenly hate him.

I told him about Blackbeard not so he'd get that impression, but so that he would understand why I am the way I am about protecting Thatch. Moreover, our problem with Teach isn't that he left, it's that he hid his true motives, stabbed Thatch in the back, and didn't have the balls to face us.

[Sighs. He promised himself not to put Roxas in the middle, but he still wants to go kick Lea. To address it and make sure they both have their stories straight.]

If anything, if Lea wasn't a former nakama, I'd be livid enough to murder him right now. If anyone else pulled what he did, they would be in a huge amount of trouble, and I thought he knew that. Either he isn't giving me credit for treating him as himself, or he's being incredibly cowardly. Either way, I'm disappointed.

[He finishes his candy and sits up, turning around to face Marco seriously.]

If I thought I was in danger somewhere, I wouldn't hesitate to do the same thing. [It seems like a perfectly valid, rational response to Roxas. Organization training at its best.] Try and fit in, keep a low profile and then try and get out. Maybe Lea is wrong about the threat level to him, but you have to understand he's way deeper into these things than I am.

[He sighs a little.] He talked about changing his tattoo so you don't have to worry about that. [Roxas does though and he's unhappy about it.]

[And he gets to the crux of the matter that somehow looks much more solemn and serious in this older body. He takes the sword out, sheath and all, from where it sits at his waist and holds it out in one hand. He doesn't pull the blade out, he's just making a point.]

You know, if you tried that, I would have to stop you.

[Even if it tore him apart, even if he cried during and afterwards, he would fight Marco to save Lea.]

We protect each other. It doesn't matter who's threatening him. I will stop them.

Edited 2014-08-26 00:23 (UTC)

Then come with me, we're going to have a talk with him.

It seems to me that the person Lea is punishing most right now is himself, and it's starting to affect you too.

If I'm making it worse on him you can tell me to back off and I'll go to the crow's nest so he can have space, agreed?

[Roxas hesitates for a moment. He isn't sure Lea wants to talk to Marco, at all.]

I'm okay. It's just that I don't know if he wants to talk to you at all. He's already...

[They both were already emotional wrecks from everything else. Lea would have no problem telling Marco where to go if he didn't want to talk though and if he got mad at Roxas, well he could handle the consequences.]

I guess you can try. I can't promise he'll talk to you.

That's fine. I don't think he even realizes that Thatch is kidnapped by slavers. If he doesn't care about that, then I don't know that I want to talk to him. I told Ikki, Lea is to you what Thatch is to me. The only person I would dare fight my Pops to defend, is Thatch. [Gets up and takes Guy's hand for his own emotional support as he leads them on out.] Ace too, but Ace wouldn't need it. Pops always knew Ace better than the rest of us. Because they shared a dream, eh?

[Roxas doesn't have a problem with the hand holding. His free hand pushes the sword back where it belongs. It's not a smooth movement but very awkward. Keyblades are far more convenient.]

Did they? I don't know anything about it really...

[Roxas exhales.]

I have to protect him. You understand that, right? [Even from himself.]

[Stops on the stairs, sits on one and ruffles Guy's head.] Of course I do.

I have never questioned that Roxas, not even once.

I won't pretend that anyone else gets it, and I don't feel like it's my place to explain, but ...

[Scoots sideways and pats the stair so Roxas can briefly sit with him again.]

None of you knew me the way I was before Thatch. Haruta could tell you a few stories, but even then, Haruta I liked more than everyone else.

Remember how you described the first few days of being in existence, and how patient Lea was with you?

I was a little like that too. Except I was almost only ever a bird. I didn't want to talk to anyone, I didn't make friends, I was obsessed with getting revenge, I wanted to kick most people in the face. I only saw myself as a weapon, and I didn't want to be anything else.

Xemnas made you so he could try to take over, right? Well, I have a lot of jobs as first mate, but one... isn't really a job. It's a bad habit.

I don't trust easily. Pops trusts... everyone, eh. And Ace relies on his own strength and the strength of his family, so that he can trust as many people as he wants. But I don't want to trust people.

Every time my crew, the Whitebeards, was infiltrated by spies or traitors, I was the one who found them to kick them out. Except Blackbeard. But every time we got new crew, I was the last person to trust them. I don't trust well. Even in war, I'm the paranoid one with my instincts on high.

Thatch was the exception. The first one to change all that. Before Thatch I didn't like any people. I just wanted to be a phoenix and left alone. Thatch was the first one I really trusted in a way I didn't even share with my Pops, eh? He taught me what it means to be human. And that it can be really fun, eh? He was one of the first people I took flying.

Without Thatch, I wouldn't be me. Without Lea, you wouldn't be you.

When I lost Thatch, I felt like my world was over.

That's why I wasn't nice to Lea. Thatch was hurt and I overreacted, eh? I can't take that back, and I won't, but trust me, I think I understand, yoi.

[Roxas did grab a seat when he was encouraged to and he listens quietly, giving the story some thought.]

It's okay if you can't trust people, I think.

[He nods though.]

Lea and I need each other though. He needs me too. Even when I'm too stupid to realize it. He's really patient though, most of the time.

Aye.

[One-armed hug for Roxas and Marco leans his chin over him.]

Thatch and I are that way too. So long as you remember that though, you'll always be able to get through things together. Just don't get separated again like with the navy, eh? [Taps Guy's nose.]

It won't happen again. I let my guard down...I won't let that happen anymore.

[He's a little upset he got caught. He's better than this.]

Alright...come on. Putting it off isn't going to put Lea in a better mood.

[He gets up after giving Marco a quick hug.]

Aye.

Don't worry, you'll be my secret weapon. Mostly because I'm counting on you to slice my shins if I cross a line, eh?

[That might sound flippant, but he's serious.]

Lea's strong. I know he's going to be okay, but I'll stop you if you do.

[It isn't far to Selphie's room. Roxas knocks once and pokes his head in.]

Hey Lea?

Hm?

[Lea, as usual, is sprawled on the floor with the journal open. It's just a little harder to sprawl when you have less to sprawl with.

What's up?

[He opens the door all the way and steps into the room, out of Marco's way.]

Marco wants to talk to you.

[Nothing about Lea's posture or position changes, but it's like you can see every single door slamming shut in his expression.]

Is that so? Am I supposed to clear my schedule or something?

If you want.

[Leans on the doorframe.]

Usually I'd be... shall we say 'miffed' that you felt the need to pretend to be Selphie?

But I'm more concerned that you were actually worried about being back here enough that you considered it necessary to stay in disguise.

Do you mind if I ask whether you still have your tattoo?

At the moment or back where I'm supposed to be right now?

[That's a no. If Selphie gets nosy and decides to poke around and see why Lea's shoulder hurts so much, she'd find that out. The design is much larger, much more elaborate, and there's no trace of the fiery red spade.]

Not as Selphie, on your own body. I don't want to ask Selphie, as that would be rude.

That's unsurprisingly hypocritical of you.

[Lea leans back and folds his arms behind his head.]

I have a tattoo. A nice big one on my shoulder like my captain's, though I think I'm a bit too skinny to pull off the whole down the arms, across the chest and over on the other side thing he's got going on. Not enough muscles, you know?

[Roxas gives a heavy sigh and looks away. He had no idea that Lea had done it, but he already had that fight and has nothing left to say.]

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