high_seas | Not feeling like myself today...

[It's a lot easier to hug people when he's in this body at the moment, he's not looking forward to going back to the pain in his shoulder.]

I was...scared for Lea when I was there because they told me all kinds of things about my crew and I know now they were lies but then I was so scared they hurt him and I couldn't do anything!

[He takes a deep breath.]

I was so...not quite happy, but something else. A different feeling. When I found out he was okay. But now I'm a little scared all the time. I'm not sure why, no one is around to hurt me or anything and I'm not even really scared of that. I won, didn't I?

[He certainly made a colossal mess of things there, including a fair amount of fire damage.]

I don't really know. I don't want to be alone really, but I can't sleep with Lea because he won't let me. I'm injured and he doesn't want to hurt me.

Relieved. You were relieved he was okay.

[Marco turns his own chair around backwards and leans on the back to face Roxas, lightly ruffling the kid's hair again.] I was relieved you were found even though it scared me too to hear what they were doing.

[Closes his eyes and sighs.] Ace was... really mad. Not at you, just that we had to let the dragon and kid get you instead.

Thatch and Namur have been taken by slavers, so has Leanne's body, but she got swapped with Vyse. These last few months, I've been worried about all of you, eh? Chandra is missing, and no one knows where, but I've ruled some things out.

But listen, eh? [Another headpat.] It's normal to be scared like that. It doesn't mean you're not strong. It means you're smart enough not to want to do that again. [Pokes Guy's forehead.] So your brain is trying to think of all the ways to make sure it never happens again. But the only way to face that, is to just give it your best.

And if Lea won't sleep with you now because he's in Selphie's body now, I'll make a big pile of blankets and camp out on deck and you can sleep with me, okay?

[A sly grin.]

And I'll tell you another thing. You know how Ace doesn't have an official bed of his own.

[He covers his own fingers with his lips.] He doesn't like to sleep alone either. For the same reason. And he likes to make sure all of the crew is safe. He tries very hard to be rough and tough on everyone, but inside he's a total softie. He just wants you all to be safe and happy. And worries a lot otherwise.

See? You're not much different from him after all.

I guess not. I don't really like to sleep alone anyway because I'm used to sleeping with Lea. We've been sleeping together since I died a long time ago, most of the time. But now we can't until I get better and I think it takes awhile doesn't it?

[He's not sure, it's the most serious injury he's ever had. He does like the idea that maybe he's just smart enough to know that he doesn't want to be in danger again.]

Is everyone going to be okay?

Ace was like that with his little brother and crew too from what I understand. Even on the Moby Dick, he used to fall asleep best when he was surrounded by all sixteen hundred of us.

[As for healing...]

[Marco hums quietly.] I'm not a doctor, so I don't know how bad your wounds are. But when we rescue Leanne I'm sure she'll want to help heal you back to full health.

[A firm expression and a serious nod.] We will rescue them.

[Still... he's frustrated.] If I could kick myself I would though, yoi. Namur's people have to deal with slavery a lot in our world. It's my job to protect him from that, eh?

[Marco gets up to go grab something sweet to give Roxas.]

[He turns his head to watch Marco putter around.]

Well it doesn't seem that bad to me, but Lea's pretty upset about it because I got shot. I can still move okay, although when I was sparring I did start bleeding again and Lea was really mad at me for not resting.

[He thinks about that.]

What do you mean by slavery?

Sounds more like he was upset for himself for not making you rest.

[Have a chocolate pop, and Marco has a green tea for himself.]

Slavery is like being captured by the navy, but instead they make you work and do what they want or they'll destroy you, like the organization. I think.

If you try to rest, or break free, they'll beat you up pretty badly.

In some ways, it's not torture, because if you... [Marco completely freezes and he grabs his anklet, almost instantly calming back down, though he rubs his ankle.] If you follow their orders they won't hurt you.

In some ways that's worse. It's a mental pain. [He looks and sounds distant now.] They convince you that any pain you receive is your fault for not obeying. They make you do whatever they want. They purposely humiliate you to try to make you think you are less than them.

[A deep breath and he sips his tea, unable to look at Roxas yet.] Every country in my world banned it. But because the World Government is all countries; and none, they don't touch it, just look the other way. Which means places without governments allow it. [Another sip and he nearly cracks his mug.] Humans in my world are --

[No. Queen Otohime... she always said not to let the children see their hatred and burning pain. The desire for revenge. It's hard for Marco, especially hard right now, but he numbs it down.] Not very kind to anyone different.

You said you are a monster, a bad guy, so are Ace and my brothers, eh? Slavers don't see us as like them so they think it's okay to kidnap people unlike them and sell them as slaves. For money. [Marco doesn't even have enough contempt to express for that, so he just takes another sip.]

Fishmen, mermaids, giants, and... [Phoenixes? Freaks? Monsters? Pirates...] people like us are especially susceptible, eh? Rayleigh... I don't know if you met him, but he is a big ally of mine when it comes to fighting slavers. [Marco wearily shakes his head and rubs his temple.] I've been fighting slavers a long time kiddo.

They take advantage of chaos, and pirates are a pretty chaotic bunch, eh? Just ask Leanne.

Pops put Fishman Island under his protection, [Another head shake.] More than that, Fishman Island, Hand Island, Foodvalten, Samba Island, dozens more just to protect them from slavery. I thought with him dead the least I could try to do was to protect them from that.

[Namur and Thatch are strong. They probably just went to infiltrate and free the others. It doesn't matter how often Marco repeats it in his head, he even believes it, knows it, but he can't shake the feeling he failed them. He should have kicked their asses and gotten it through their heads not to be so foolish. Even Marco wouldn't risk getting himself enslaved. How could they do be so reckless?]

[He folds his arms on the table and rests his head in them.]

Stupid baby shark brother. If there was one thing I promised myself I wouldn't let happen to him, that was it. I can't stop everything else, but I should be able to stop slavers. Now I just have to get them back. [And then kick them.]

[He wishes his Pops was there to forgive him because he's not going to be able to forgive himself a long time yet.]

[But Marco won't waste time on hating himself. He tugs Roxas' chair all the way up against his own, slings an arm around Guy's shoulders' and steals a birdie bite of the chocolate pop with an impish grin.]

I'll make it okay.

[He's quiet, trying to process all the information at once. When he's tugged back over, he leans against Marco willingly while he thinks. He doesn't mind sharing his candy either.]

It sounds like torture to me.

[Marco sounds sure he can fix everything so he exhales.]

I hope you do make it okay.

I will.

[Ruffles Guy's hair.] They're my family.

When it comes to slavers, that's the only time I'm even a little unselfish. I'll fight for anyone against slavers. And free anyone.

Maybe even Blackbeard... and he's the man that murdered Thatch and hurt Ace and Pops. [Leans his head on Guy's.]

I really hate Blackbeard... but he was with me when we fought to protect Fishman Island. It was a bad day. [Pets Guy's hair.] There were slavers everywhere. Kids and mermaids couldn't go three blocks without getting kidnapped. In their own homes. The only other time I've ever seen my Pops that angry was when a marine killed Ace, eh?

[He holds up the anklet again, this time so Roxas can see.] This has a special meaning, eh? If you ever meet a fishman, like Namur, wearing two of these, you tell them Marco the Phoenix is here, and then you tell me they're here too, eh? It means they've seen a truth of the world others deny.

[It's soothing to have Marco comforting him. He continues eating.]

I don't know if I get everything, but I'll try. I'll try and remember that.

[Roxas may not be the best ambassador Marco could have chosen.]

They don't sound like very good people.

[That is okay, secretly Marco already knows that finding fellow fishman wearing the anklet would be a million times easier to just look for fishman from his world, period. He just wanted to share that with Roxas. If Roxas had a perfect memory, he probably wouldn't have.]

[And Marco pets Guy's head more. Having Roxas back soothes him more than anyone except Thatch understands.]

They're the worst. I don't forgive traitors, but I'll never begin to forgive a slaver.

You know how important freedom is to pirates? They're all about taking away other people's freedom.

I guess so.

[He really isn't sure he gets it, but he does know it's not a good thing. Roxas crunches on his candy as he leans lazily against Marco's shoulder.]

You know what? I have a question for you. [Because he doesn't think Lea would know, or tell him.]

Do you know why Selphie is mad at me?

She's upset that you were more loyal to Lea than her.

It's very unsettling to have someone else in control of your body, it's even worse to know what they're doing with it, and then to hear that you knew but didn't tell her, she felt hurt.

You can make it up to her with flowers though. Or another kind of present, if you want.

I have to tell you, I'm not pleased with what Lea did either. [It's too reminiscent of Chameleone for Marco, and worse, he told Lea about Blackbeard, why would Lea risk doing something so reckless again?] And I can't understand it. Does he really consider us such enemies now? Do you know what he's scared of? I thought he just didn't like my attitude towards this world's denizens and wanted to protect you from it, but pretending to be Selphie has nothing to do with that.

[Roxas scratches his head a little.]

I get that, she said that, but I don't understand why. Why would I tell her that?

[He frowns as he gives it some consideration.]

I don't understand what the problem is. I think that Lea isn't sure you want to see him again. I think he thinks that you guys don't like him because he left and he thought if he could just blend into the background no one would be bothered and he could go back to his body soon enough.

So that way she would have known before Lea surprised her with it. She feels like you were conspiring to hurt her. Not that that's the case, that's just how she feels, eh?

Lea is an idiot.

I'm sorry, but that is not how it works. You know how Ace and I are, we punch each other in the face. We prefer people to be direct and upfront with us. [Shakes a hand through his hair.] I don't know if I should confront him or if that will just make things worse. So if you get a chance, please tell him he is welcome back anytime he wants to come. We don't hold anyone hostage here. If this is a bad fit, it's a bad fit. Nothing more, nothing less. My only anger is that he carelessly hurt Sephie by pretending to be her, and I don't appreciate being tricked, eh?

I guess so? [He's still confused about what is hurtful about it.]

It isn't? I don't know, but I didn't think you guys liked him much either. I know he is upset with you guys and he doesn't like you very much and he'd rather I didn't visit.

I guess he did trick you, but he knew Selphie so it worked, until he got found out. He didn't want to be in a bad situation which is what happened anyway. [He sighs. It was a disaster in fact.]

On a mission disguising yourself is usually how things go.

It wouldn't have turned out badly if he hadn't disguised himself. Instead, he assumed we were mad at him, rather than asking us. Honestly Roxas, I expect that behavior from a ten year old, but he's the one trying to act more mature than me, so I'd like to see that.

No one is mad at him, we just don't want to tie him down if he wasn't happy here. That would be unfair to him, and we have more respect for ourselves than that. If he is happier elsewhere, we understand. That doesn't mean we hate him or never want to see him again. He had our tattoo after all. It's his choice whether to remove it, [Although if Lea didn't consider himself part of the Spades and kept the tattoo, Marco would have ripped it off so.... "his choice" is uh... right.] but just because he doesn't want to be part of the family doesn't mean we suddenly hate him.

I told him about Blackbeard not so he'd get that impression, but so that he would understand why I am the way I am about protecting Thatch. Moreover, our problem with Teach isn't that he left, it's that he hid his true motives, stabbed Thatch in the back, and didn't have the balls to face us.

[Sighs. He promised himself not to put Roxas in the middle, but he still wants to go kick Lea. To address it and make sure they both have their stories straight.]

If anything, if Lea wasn't a former nakama, I'd be livid enough to murder him right now. If anyone else pulled what he did, they would be in a huge amount of trouble, and I thought he knew that. Either he isn't giving me credit for treating him as himself, or he's being incredibly cowardly. Either way, I'm disappointed.

[He finishes his candy and sits up, turning around to face Marco seriously.]

If I thought I was in danger somewhere, I wouldn't hesitate to do the same thing. [It seems like a perfectly valid, rational response to Roxas. Organization training at its best.] Try and fit in, keep a low profile and then try and get out. Maybe Lea is wrong about the threat level to him, but you have to understand he's way deeper into these things than I am.

[He sighs a little.] He talked about changing his tattoo so you don't have to worry about that. [Roxas does though and he's unhappy about it.]

[And he gets to the crux of the matter that somehow looks much more solemn and serious in this older body. He takes the sword out, sheath and all, from where it sits at his waist and holds it out in one hand. He doesn't pull the blade out, he's just making a point.]

You know, if you tried that, I would have to stop you.

[Even if it tore him apart, even if he cried during and afterwards, he would fight Marco to save Lea.]

We protect each other. It doesn't matter who's threatening him. I will stop them.

Edited 2014-08-26 00:23 (UTC)

Then come with me, we're going to have a talk with him.

It seems to me that the person Lea is punishing most right now is himself, and it's starting to affect you too.

If I'm making it worse on him you can tell me to back off and I'll go to the crow's nest so he can have space, agreed?

[Roxas hesitates for a moment. He isn't sure Lea wants to talk to Marco, at all.]

I'm okay. It's just that I don't know if he wants to talk to you at all. He's already...

[They both were already emotional wrecks from everything else. Lea would have no problem telling Marco where to go if he didn't want to talk though and if he got mad at Roxas, well he could handle the consequences.]

I guess you can try. I can't promise he'll talk to you.

That's fine. I don't think he even realizes that Thatch is kidnapped by slavers. If he doesn't care about that, then I don't know that I want to talk to him. I told Ikki, Lea is to you what Thatch is to me. The only person I would dare fight my Pops to defend, is Thatch. [Gets up and takes Guy's hand for his own emotional support as he leads them on out.] Ace too, but Ace wouldn't need it. Pops always knew Ace better than the rest of us. Because they shared a dream, eh?

[Roxas doesn't have a problem with the hand holding. His free hand pushes the sword back where it belongs. It's not a smooth movement but very awkward. Keyblades are far more convenient.]

Did they? I don't know anything about it really...

[Roxas exhales.]

I have to protect him. You understand that, right? [Even from himself.]

[Stops on the stairs, sits on one and ruffles Guy's head.] Of course I do.

I have never questioned that Roxas, not even once.

I won't pretend that anyone else gets it, and I don't feel like it's my place to explain, but ...

[Scoots sideways and pats the stair so Roxas can briefly sit with him again.]

None of you knew me the way I was before Thatch. Haruta could tell you a few stories, but even then, Haruta I liked more than everyone else.

Remember how you described the first few days of being in existence, and how patient Lea was with you?

I was a little like that too. Except I was almost only ever a bird. I didn't want to talk to anyone, I didn't make friends, I was obsessed with getting revenge, I wanted to kick most people in the face. I only saw myself as a weapon, and I didn't want to be anything else.

Xemnas made you so he could try to take over, right? Well, I have a lot of jobs as first mate, but one... isn't really a job. It's a bad habit.

I don't trust easily. Pops trusts... everyone, eh. And Ace relies on his own strength and the strength of his family, so that he can trust as many people as he wants. But I don't want to trust people.

Every time my crew, the Whitebeards, was infiltrated by spies or traitors, I was the one who found them to kick them out. Except Blackbeard. But every time we got new crew, I was the last person to trust them. I don't trust well. Even in war, I'm the paranoid one with my instincts on high.

Thatch was the exception. The first one to change all that. Before Thatch I didn't like any people. I just wanted to be a phoenix and left alone. Thatch was the first one I really trusted in a way I didn't even share with my Pops, eh? He taught me what it means to be human. And that it can be really fun, eh? He was one of the first people I took flying.

Without Thatch, I wouldn't be me. Without Lea, you wouldn't be you.

When I lost Thatch, I felt like my world was over.

That's why I wasn't nice to Lea. Thatch was hurt and I overreacted, eh? I can't take that back, and I won't, but trust me, I think I understand, yoi.

[Roxas did grab a seat when he was encouraged to and he listens quietly, giving the story some thought.]

It's okay if you can't trust people, I think.

[He nods though.]

Lea and I need each other though. He needs me too. Even when I'm too stupid to realize it. He's really patient though, most of the time.

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