Roxas On The Ship

[heartismyown]

 Who: Roxas, The Spade Pirates
Where: On the ship
When: After arriving at the island, Roxas is trying to catch his bearings on the ship. (December 12)
What: Time for Roxas to make some new friends
Warnings: Questions. Lots of questions.
Style: Any
Status: Closed to crew

Roxas was confused.

This in itself was not that unusual, however it was different. Everything he worried about just days ago seemed to be less of a problem now that he's found himself in a new, somewhat hostile world. He met Riku and followed him to a ship, and today he was just hanging out, trying to get a feel for the place, and maybe unscramble the mess that was his memories.

In the morning, he can be found sitting on the railing overlooking the sea. Roxas looks content doing so, he had a fascination with the water.

In the afternoon, he can be found in the galley getting a snack, or perhaps down below deck, checking out his room and pacing between it and the steps so he can remember where it is.

In the evening, he can be found on deck on his back, staring at the stars.

Comments

[heartismyown]

You know, I think it was in the dream. It was hard to talk to Namine. She was locked in this mansion.

[uccellodifuoco]

Locked? Why? Was she the ill child of a rich man or something?

[heartismyown]

[Roxas shakes his head.]

I don't think so. She was a Nobody like me. I don't know why she was locked up.

[uccellodifuoco]

[That makes him arch an eyebrow again.]

Isn't that a harsh way to talk about someone? Though I know that feeling.

[heartismyown]

How do you mean? [Roxas blinks.]

I'm a Nobody. It's just what I am. I don't have a heart, that's what makes me a Nobody. Sora lost his heart sometime and here I am.

[uccellodifuoco]

What do you mean "how"?

[Though the explanation Roxas gives, certainly changes the meaning of the word. Not that it makes sense. He frowns, and approaches the kid before punching him in the chest, softly but strong enough to shove him back a little.]

Hn, that's fucking stupid. You don't have a heart so you're called a Nobody? Where's the sense in that? Noheart or Heartless would make more sense than that. You have a body, a name, a personality, that's hardly a "Nobody".

Not that the fact that you don't have a heart makes any more sense, do you even know what having a heart means?

[heartismyown]

[Roxas doesn't get it, and he frowns at Ikki, confused.]

Heartless are black creatures with no hearts that steal hearts. Nobodies are almost like people. They usually remember who they used to be. Axel was always telling me stuff. I don't have any memories from before though.

[He frowns a little. Did he know what it means?]

Well. I don't have a heart so I don't really understand, no.

[uccellodifuoco]

[Oh, so there are creatures called Heartless, who also lack a heart but they go around stealing other hearts. It still doesn't make sense, but from the sound of it the kid probably doesn't know more.]

If you don't know what having a heart means, how do you know that you don't have one?

[heartismyown]

Well, because I'm a Nobody, and Nobodies don't have hearts.

[Logic, right?]

I can't exactly open my chest up and check so I guess I can't be sure.

[uccellodifuoco]

[That makes him laugh.]

And who said you are a Nobody? Were you born with that knowledge? Having a heart is more than just having a beating organ.

[heartismyown]

[Roxas shakes his head.]

I wasn't born with any knowledge. Axel told me!

[uccellodifuoco]

And if someone had told you that you had a heart and that you were a Granny, would you have believed them?

[heartismyown]

I guess so. I was a zombie.

[Roxas taps his head.]

Completely empty. I couldn't talk then or anything. Everyone in Organization XIII is a Nobody.

[uccellodifuoco]

Like a newborn then.

[Ikki shakes his head.]

You know, if a human is born and is told for years that they have no heart, they will think they have no heart. Would they be a Nobody too?

[heartismyown]

[Roxas shakes his head.]

I don't think so. I don't really know. That's confusing. I joined the Organization about 350 days ago or so. But I left them a little bit ago too. It's hard to tell time sometimes. I don't know how long I was gone in Twilight Town.

[uccellodifuoco]

Oh? So you think it's confusing? What else do you think?

[heartismyown]

[He blinks at him.]

Well, I dunno what you mean. I think lots of things.

[uccellodifuoco]

What do you think of being here? Or of that Axel you have mentioned? Or Namine, are they your friends or something?

[heartismyown]

[That's a lot of questions for Roxas at once. Usually he's the one asking them.]

I'm confused. I don't know where this is, or why people were so angry when I woke up. I don't know about Riku, he seemed pretty mad at me, but I guess that's...normal? I don't know. We fought before.

[He takes a breath.]

I don't like how confused I am, and I think it's hard to remember things in order. I know I just got my memories back but they're all mixed up, kind of. I think.

Axel is here. But he's not Axel. He got his heart back, his name is Lea. I memorized it! We're best friends!

[He grins at that an when he thinks about Namine, he shakes his head.]

I don't really know her either. She's the one who told me I shouldn't exist and that Sora needs me to wake up, because he's sleeping.

[uccellodifuoco]

[He wasn't expecting that type of answers, though among the extra information there were things that he was expecting to hear.]

Okay, first of, flash news kid, you have a heart.

Second, I don't know what that bit about how you shouldn't exist is about. But Sora is here, and he's awake, while you're also here, so whatever that means it probably doesn't matter here.

[heartismyown]

Axel said I didn't have a heart.

[He scratches his head. How did he get it? Where did it come from? What would Sora think of that?]

Because he's sleeping and I was going to join him but...

[He swallows.]

Anyway Riku confirmed it. I join with Sora and disappear, just like I was never here.

[uccellodifuoco]

Maybe you don't in the normal sense, but if you can feel confused or upset and think that someone is your best friend, that's pretty much what a heart does. I know people who supposedly had hearts, but were pretty heartless in their actions and thoughts.

[Ikki snorts at the last part.]

Just so I get it clear, Lea, your friend with "a recovered heart", does he know you? Have memories of you?

[heartismyown]

Really? Is that what it does? Axel couldn't tell me! Sometimes he'd just say 'that's what people with hearts are like' and I never really understand it. What else is it like?

[Roxas is intrigued.]

Uh huh, he remembers me. Maybe he's the only one though, I didn't ask. He didn't tell me anything about it yet.

[uccellodifuoco]

I guess some people may have different opinions of what having a heart means. But in my opinion, actions are bigger proof of that than anything else. About what else is it like to have a heart... Have you ever felt as if you're in pain, but there's no actual wound in your body? For example, when you were told that you're not supposed to exist. What did you think then? Did you feel uncomfortable or wounded somewhere?

[There's a soft hum, and then a brief chuckle, "the only one", he says. Despite there clearly being two people who remember him.]

But Riku remembers you as well, don't you? If you really were never supposed to exist, if your existence was a mistake that eventually gets fixed like that. The normal thing would be that everyone would forget about you. Or that their memories would be replaced with Sora being in your place since it seems you're like a part of him or something.

[heartismyown]

Yeah. It didn't feel good...and I was angry she said that. Even if it's true, it was mean.

[Roxas shakes his head a bit.]

Riku doesn't remember me, he and I don't know each other. I don't-I think we're enemies. At least, we fought once. So he must not like Organization XIII. I can't say what happens. I came here instead of disappearing.